Once more I come to ask your feedback for one essay of mine. Thank you deeply.
Study plans to improve foreign languages(Korean, English, etc) required for taking a bachelor's degree course
BEFORE and AFTER you come to Korea.
I have always been a big lover of foreigner languages as they were for me a pass to know more about other places and gather knowledge I do not possess access to due to the idiom barrier.
The first language I ever challenged myself to learn and dedicate myself to was English. I had complete knowledge that knowing this worldwide idiom would bring me countless benefits, including studying abroad. Like this, being motivated my English teacher and my mother due to my facility with the languages pointed out by them, I started reading and writing in English on a daily basis. In less than five years of studies, in which the first two were only the basic offered by school, I can now consider English as my second language. This fact makes me extremely proud of myself and my achievement, in my view it's not very common to become fluent on an idiom by self-taught when you do not have direct contact with native speakers for example; this shows me how hard I worked during these years to develop my abilities and go beyond my own limits.
Even having friends from overseas, I never had the opportunity to have a daily life in another country which main idiom was English so I believe living in Korea and meeting other international students will also help me to communicate better in my second language when it comes to the speech and pronunciation of the words so I can improve it. However, once I am thirsty for new cultures, I always desired to learn at very least two more idioms and Korean is the one I am most passionate and fascinated about in the last 4 years.
Due to my unconditional admiration and respect for the Korean culture I am applying for this scholarship to also learn and
become fluent in this beautiful and unique language, which captivates me in various ways. The desire to acquire my bachelor's degree in South Korea, adding to the interest and love I possess for the country became a great incentive to learn how to read, speak and write in Korean.
I have already started my Korean language studies by my own and I have a basic level in the moment, I can read and speak simple sentences besides knowing the basic grammar and levels of formality, which I plan developing more before leaving to Korea, to help me in daily conversations. However I am still a beginner and I believe I have so much more to learn and this one-year the Government offers to study and improve my proficiency in this country's tongue is exceptional and I look forward to this chance. Being immerse in the culture and being able to communicate well to explore different paths is essential in my view on this scholarship. I am sure that after having the Korean language as my third idiom, the future ahead of me will be fantastic and full of experiences and new chances during the five years and after receiving the bachelor's degree. Knowing the language of a country as Korea who has a strong connection with my own, Brazil, will provide success and a differential when I enter in the employment market, other than giving me a self-satisfaction immensurable, which I can blindly assure you.
I also believe it will help me to see more about the world around me, to learn even more from other people's eyes, exchanging opinions and ideas, especially when my desired course needs a brainstorming the entire time. Meeting new people who can bring me a vast range of ideas is sincerely something I desire deeply.
Entering in contact with a world that is probably the opposite of mine due to its culture, would be of great utilization in my life, adding much more to my academic years and my perspective for my career and personal life besides being the realization of a life time dream.
i have checked your essay, and i would like to give some corrections.
1. at this sentence: "will provide success and a
differential when" should be "will provide success and a differential (..+noun..) when " because differential is adjective.
2. at this sentence: "other than giving me a
self-satisfaction immensurable " should be "other than giving me a immeasurable self-satisfaction "
3. at this sentence: "
which I can blindly assure you" should be "which is able to blindly assure you"
because it is adjective clause.
4. at this sentence: "... probably the opposite of mine due to the fact that its culture
thank you, keep trying :)