A short bio to help fundraise for students to go abroad...

The essay is for an event in the college's largest community fund raiser. Where as a student I the student have to write a short bio explaining what year of studying I am in, whats my major, what scholarships have I received, and what are my plans for the future.

Hello, my name is Belle and I am a part time student at BC as well as a part time sales associate. I am the first in my family to enter into college determined to graduate with a profession. I am currently in my second year of college in the Liberal Arts program in search of an inspiring major that fits me. Undecided about my profession and changing my major a couple of times has lead a desire to search for a profession that interests me, which brought me aspiration to see the opportunities by studying abroad. Fortunately, BC is sponsored by the program, College Consortium for International Studies (CCIS). Therefore I took advantage and applied to study in the International College of Seville (ICS) in Spain, to find my calling and in the meantime improve in the Spanish language. Acceptance into the program led me to apply for a financial scholarship known as the, Summer Scholarship to Study Abroad (SSSA), which thankfully helped me pay off my personal abroad debits. Now that I had new experiences and seen more life opportunities to go for from my abroad experience, it has deepened my desire to pursue for a profession where I am able to travel and learn new languages, cultures and find my field in the arts. As for my future I hope to graduate with a profession in the arts field and traveling benefits.

Any corrections for my short essay would really be appreciated:)

I am the first in my family that entered into college, and determined to graduate with a profession

program in searching of an inspiring major that fits me

Don't say hello.

As the first in my family determined to enroll in college and graduate with a profession, I am currently in my second year of college in the Liberal Arts program in search of an inspiring major that fits me.

Write out the college name in the first sentence, don't abbreviate without naming institution first- it is more formal.

International Studies (CCIS), and therefore