Hi all, this is my essay for Chevening 'Study in the UK' question, any input is much appreciated, thanks!
Studying in the UK
Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future. Please do not duplicate the information you have entered on the work experience and education section of this form.
Initially trained as a bioarchaeologist, I have a long-held interest in the impacts of socio-political and environmental factors on past human populations. My concerns about human societies have grown after I joined (name of NGO) (SCON) as a research volunteer, which has provided me with a unique insight into the interventions of an INGO on marginalised communities. By pursuing a profession in international development, not only can I continue my academic interests, but also can contribute to my country by empowering women and improving socially disadvantaged communities through public policy development.
Both theoretical and practical components are equally important to expand my current experience and build my future career in the development sector. I, therefore, desire to pursue a Master's course that will further equip me with essential skills and knowledge, specifically the ability to create and manage a self-sustaining institution. The MSc Development Management programme at the London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE) particularly appeals to me because students will participate in a live group consultancy project for a leading development agency, which involves formulating proposals, negotiating with agencies and conducting client presentations. Additionally, studying this programme will accord me the opportunity to interact and be mentored by Professor Duncan Green, who is currently the Senior Strategic Adviser at Oxfam GB. His courses lead students to explore the analytical frameworks and practical techniques used by international NGOs and develop the understanding of the limitations of deliberate efforts to bring about changes. I believe I will benefit considerably from Professor Green's courses and his work experience in both international aid agencies and the governmental sector.
The MSc Globalisation and Development programme (second option) at the School of Oriental and African Studies (SOAS), University of London, and the MA Globalisation, Business and Development programme (third option) at the Institute of Development Studies (IDS) attract my attention because they highly align with my current work at SCON, where I am responsible for exploring enterprise models and employment opportunities for the most marginalised communities in Nepal. I am specifically interested in the optional modules 'Understanding Economic Migration' and 'Global Commodity Chains, Production Networks and Informal' at SOAS and 'Business as a Development Actor' and 'Globalisation, Business and Policy' at IDS. These modules not only provide an overview of past and current trends of globalisation, but also scrutinise the policies which are required to integrate developing business in the global economy. By studying these courses, I will be able to assess how the poor majority, especially women, responds to labour changes and whether globalisation is conducive to accelerated development in these communities.
The focuses of the programmes I have chosen are in line with both my personal interests and my future work plans. I believe my practical experience in Nepal will be seamlessly integrated into the programmes by putting practice into critical theory. (471 words)Hello,
i actually like your introductory paragraph, and regarding your second one, i think it would be more clear (as an outline) to start with your course choice and the first senctence where you're mentioning that both components are equally important can be embedded within the paragraph.
regarding your closing paragraph, i think it needs more elaboration on how are he chosen courses in line with your personal interests and if it's already mentioned in your first paragraph because it's partially reflected in you saying that your concerns have increased, then i think its a bit dummy repetition, you still have a couple of words left in your count so you could further clarify your closing part
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Yun, you have given a clear idea as to why you wish to change your career trajectory but you have not justified how you have gained practical experience in the field in order to qualify as a potentially successful student in the MS fields you have chosen. Your 3 university choices are confusing to read as you failed to divide the universities and courses into individually developed paragraphs. You must also indicated not only what you hope to learn from the course, but what the future application for the course within your new career will be. Otherwise, there is no real relevance to your professional goals that can connect the two.
As for your choice of the same course at two universities, separate the discussion of those universities. Each university must have a different highlight in terms of learning goals for yourself that will result in 2 different career improvements for you once you return to the workforce. Each university needs to have a differing reason for your choice. You cannot simply say that both universities work for your purposes, how do you expect the reviewer to choose a particular university for you in that instance? That is a lazy way of choosing a university and your application may suffer because of that laziness on your part.
The essay in itself is not as strong as it could be due to your lack of academic background and professional qualifications for your field of interest. However, you can try to strengthen the university choices as it applies to your future career goals. That should help to make the essay relevant, at the very least, towards your academic and career interests.
