Hello guys, please kindly help review my letter of self-introduction for KGSP. Your prompt response will be highly appreciated. Thanks.
Letter of Self-Introduction
*Your course of life, your view of life, study background, your hopes and wishes, etc
*Yours education and work experience, etc in relation to the KGSP programme
*Your motivation for applying for this programme
*Reason for study in Korea
Korea fascinates me
Answers:
I was born in Lagos the commercial hub of Nigeria, into a family of three, all of whom were boys. It's normal family tradition for nieces and nephews to live with uncles, so I was raised in the house of my uncle. The general philosophy is to promote functioning of the family and to strengthen ties. Thus, I grew up upholding family values. I hold a strong believe that family is an important social entity, one which helps to fortify the fabric of society. Teaching was something I had developed so much flair for right from elementary school, one which started as a hobby. I was an active participant in many tutorial and revision classes. Teaching was so fun that I conduct classes efficiently to the admiration of my audience. Seamless ability to simplify and convey ideas is a defining trait, one which I manage to develop further. I found it so interesting that I aspire to start a career in the academics.
Impelled by over the dinner talks about economic issues, economics is one subject that appealed to me the most, not only because its logical insights into man's world in his quest to match numerous wants with ends means, but also its attempt to find solutions to problems faced by the society. While elementary economics courses offers primary insights, my high school economics tutor's profound mastery of the subject and his expository prowess made economics quite more interesting. My dogged persistence and his inspiring mentorship ensured success in all my courses including the university matriculation examination. I was admitted into Kwara State University to study for a bachelor degree in economics. My first year principles of economics course had a profound influence; it opens my eye to a new way of thinking. By the end of the third year, I had found development economics quite engaging. A term paper analyses of 2012 United Nations Human Development report opened my eye to the apparent disparity between the underdeveloped nations of Africa and the developed nations of the West, an exercise filled with many unresolved intrigues. It left me with so many questions begging for answers, one of which has to do with 'why many African nations are seen at the lower echelon of human development index?' The analysis was so much interesting that I knew I would like to pursue further research after graduation. That is why I am so enthused and motivated now to attend your programme. In 2013, I took a one year voluntary service to teach high school economics and mathematics in order to impact the next generation. I also worked as a research assistant to a professor at the University of Ibadan to earn practical skill and experience in economics research. In addition, I served as graduate teaching assistance at the Institute of professional studies, Kwara State University to garner teaching experience at the university level.
On a personal note, superbly crafted Korean architectural designs never fail to fascinate me. The astonishing curvy roofing designs of Gyeogbokgung royal palace is one of my favourites. Trending conversion of Korean roofing designs in Nigeria's real estate industry tells more about far reaching impact of Korea innovations. More interestingly, Korea's rapid rise to economic prosperity never cease to amaze me. I feel a strong desire to learn real details about Korea's development model as an excellent example to adapt for Nigeria. A four-week online 'edx' course on 'Policy Lessons from South Korea's Development' reveals great details about Korea development success, igniting a new desire to gain practical insights. I'm motivated to apply for Korea Government Scholarship Programme not only because it presents an excellent opportunity to highly motivated students like me to have access to world class postgraduate education, but particularly motivated by what I can achieve, by the impact I can make on my community, and by the change I could bring to home country and indeed the global world.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Right off the bat I can tell yo to remove the reference to teaching in the first paragraph. Not only because it is unrelated to the topic of family that was being discussed, but because it does not (yet) relate to the interest in Economics that you showed in the later part of the paper. Remove it as an irrelevant activity at this point.
Later in the essay, please separate the the professional background, that includes teaching Economics and other related professional experience, from your academic training. Also, build up the professional experience more and reduce the focus on the development of your interest and academic progression regarding your Economics degree. Focus more on your professional experience as these will be factors that dictate the motivation for your interest in the field.
As for the final paragraph, you need to be consistent in your presentation. The first few sentences indicate an interest in architecture, which is not the focus of your application and should not be presented here. The removal of that part further represents the strong reasons and motivation behind your desire to study in Korea.
