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The capacity and the will to rally people - Leadership and Influence Essay - CHEVENING


Yanti 3 / 12  
Oct 12, 2021   #1
Hello Everyone, this is my Chevening Essay for Leadership and Influence and I really need more input and suggestions. Appreciate for your help. Thank you.

Leadership and Influence



Currently, my work as XXX in company where is still under construction phase namely XXX . As new establish company, the Management will company regulation legal should be created and legitimate immediately, formed small committee and invite respective person in each department. I elected as one of committee member, representative from my department in XXX. We have regularly meeting twice a week. In one day meeting, I addressed inconsistent time in list attendance of employee when discussing about chapter in working hours. If company will change employee behavior regarding on time in working hours, scheme of yearly compensation adjustment which is affected in work performance, target achievement and national inflation rate should be modify are my opinions in that meeting. I suggested to adding twenty percent scale in calculation of compensation adjustment, my opinion agreed by management and committee team to put this scheme in company regulation released and presented to all employees. After embarked on trial in the first month, awareness level of employee in attendance list showing increase, and now discipline culture as major intention of employee to being valuable in company growth.

Furthermore, as a XXX, the most challenging I face in one of my task is involved in preparing custom documents for import equipment from factory to site plant. Work with many cross divisions who have contradictive Key Performance Indicator (KPI). I took initiated to improve this delivery import process in management meeting, invited Management representative and respective Divisions. I present current condition data in logistic section, how much cost company spends in custom, tax and handling. My suggestions accepted by management in that meeting, to apply additional "XXX (Project name)" (one of investment facility from Government to obtaining exemptions from Taxes on Imported Goods), get listing all potential equipment will imported in the future from Engineering section and my part is prepare all document needed as requirements in "XXX (Project name)" system. After going thru the process, my company is eligible to get "XXX (Project name)" approval for the next import equipment. This "XXX (Project name)" facility can save company expenses in taxation, open access and opportunity to adopt advance technology and equipment from developed countries.

Moreover, I want to develop my ability in leadership skill, being best partner and colleague in the wider spectrum. I plan to cross background to see more another point of view in logistic matter, distribution channel, export and import mechanism. Chevening scholarship presents an opportunity to pursue my master study in Supply Chain Management which will enhance my skill set as additional background those will affected in appropriate decision maker, potential investment value in XXX globally. Upon my return I will further contribute more in organization and nations.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,700 3784  
Oct 13, 2021   #2
There is no leadership ability portrayed in this essay. You only made a series of suggestions that were well recieved, but developed and implemented by others. Yes, this could be considered an influencing skill to the point that you have to explain yourself to your superior. However, successful explanations, without your direct participation as a project or team leader only makes you a notable participant and eager employee. Remember, you did not implement the idea so there is no assurance that improvements and changes to your ideas were made and collectively implemented. so this is not direct leaduship evidence.

The essay lacks in thought clarity and barely manages to coherently explain itself. consider hiring a professional editor after writing the next, totally new version of this essay. Perhaps the problem is just a language barrier, or not? Whatever the language problem, firing it will only help your application.
Guest /  
Oct 13, 2021   #3
@Yanti
There are so much grammatical errors in this essay. Some sentences seems to be 'incomplete'. For e.g.

Furthermore, as a XXX, the most challenging I face in one of my task is involved in preparing custom documents for import equipment from factory to site plant.

The most 'challenging' what?
Please ensure you look at your essays thoroughly for all these.
OP Yanti 3 / 12  
Oct 13, 2021   #4
Million of thanks @Holt and @Anim for great suggestions

I try to make some revision in essay and explain more in leadership ability, elaborate sentence, correction some grammatical , really appreciate for your feedback again :)

LEADERSHIP AND INFLUENCE

Currently, my work as xxx in xxxx. As new establish company, the Management will company regulation legal should be created and legitimate immediately, formed small committee and invite respective person in each department. I elected as one of committee member, representative from my department in xxxx. We have regularly meeting twice a week. In one day meeting, I addressed inconsistent time in list attendance of employee when discussing about chapter in working hours. If company will change employee behavior regarding on time in working hours, target achievement and national inflation rate as component of regular scheme in yearly compensation adjustment should be modify are my opinions in that meeting. I suggested to adding ten percent for on-time employee's performance as part of assessment in compensation adjustment calculation. My opinion agreed by management and committee team to put this scheme in company regulation released and presented to all employees. After embarked on trial in the first month, awareness level of employee in performance attendance list showing increase, and now discipline culture as major intention of employee to being valuable in company growth.

Furthermore, as a xxx, lead cross divisions who have contradictive Key Performance Indicator (KPI) is challenging process in my leadership journey. I initiated improve this process in processing import equipment from factory to site plant, since data financial report shows that company was spend extraordinary costs in custom and tax . Apply additional "xxx (Project name)" (one of investment facility from Government to obtaining exemptions from Duty and Tax on Imported Goods), to government is the way to get exemption from government in duty and tax, effected in reducing company cost. Because of many requirements to fulfill "xxx (Project name)" facility in application system, I make timeline schedule and divide task to each respective department. Listing all potential equipment will import is part of engineering section responsibility, permit documents are prepared by legal team and my part is make sure all requirements were adequate and comply into government regulation. We success submit "xxx (Project name)" in application system based on timeline schedule. Then, after going thru the process, my company is eligible to get "xxx (Project name)" approval for the next import equipment. This facility can save company expenses in duty and taxation around xxx % from total value of import equipment, also open access and opportunity to adopt advance technology and equipment from developed countries.

Moreover, I want to develop my ability in leadership skill, being best partner and colleague in the wider spectrum. I plan to cross background to see more another point of view in logistic matter, distribution channel in cross country, export and import mechanism. Chevening scholarship presents an opportunity to pursue my master study in Supply Chain Management which will enhance my skill set as additional background those will affected in appropriate decision maker, potential investment value in xxx globally. Upon my return I will further contribute more in organization and nations.
Reginaa - / 1  
2 days ago   #5
@Yanti
Your essay is still full of grammatical errors. You need serious improvement. Ensure you use some softwares to check this.
OP Yanti 3 / 12  
1 day ago   #6
@Reginaa , Thank you so much for suggestion, did you have recommendation, what type of software for helping me to check grammatical errors ?


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