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My career with pharmaceutical formulations. Essay about my study plan for Chevening


lany83 5 / 15 4  
Oct 25, 2018   #1
I would greatly appreciate your comment on my essay. Thanks in advance

contribution to the socioeconomic development of the Northeast



In 2014 I graduated in one of the best universities in Brazil, xxxxxxxxx. I was the founding president of the First Academic League of Cosmetology xxxxxxx, created to complement our training since the discipline was not part of the Curriculum. As a consequence, we were able to implement an extension project to act in the production of phytocosmetics and phytotherapics in master scale, where plants and fruits of the semi-arid region of Bahia were used.

Going to places in the Sertão, to obtain the raw material aroused the interest in modifying the reality of the communities, a wish that never went away.

The semi-arid population has low educational and financial levels, resulting in regions with high poverty rates. Given this scenario, a world-class education will allow me to not only advance my career with pharmaceutical formulations, but also contribute mainly to the socioeconomic development of the Northeast, developing products of this vegetation.

The first choice is xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx course at xxxxxxxx. The program offers studies focused on the formulation practice where I will develop my product through the acquired techniques, but its differential is the business strategy module that will be coordinated with the business school. This study is relevant to my career plan, especially for having Dr. xxxxxxxxxx, a specialist in social enterprises and small businesses. He has projects in collaboration with a Brazilian university working on the social impact companies can have in the community.Access to this professional will be essential for the strategic development focused on the Northeast Region. I will do my best to establish a partnership between this and my project in Brazil, favoring our scientific cooperation.

Master of xxxxxxxxx at the University xxxxxxxxxs became my second choice. Linked to the largest cosmetic centers in the world, it is the only program in the United Kingdom aimed at producing and marketing them. The Business Planning module is designed to identify a commercially viable product and plan a business plan for its launch. In Brazil, the strategic part does not make up the study plan for specializations, so it will be a differential, applying knowledge both in my laboratory and in consultancy projects for institutions, because my intention is to modernize local companies that cultivate global mentality.

The third option will be the MSc in xxxxxxxxx at the xxxxxxxxxxx. This course is designed for the pharmaceutical industry, its grid has focus on the regulatory part, including control and quality assurance. In addition to the module focused on entrepreneurship, the University has contact with major pharmaceutical companies, such as GSK, which provides a staff of experienced staff to provide training to students. This course will provide me with a macro view of the global industrial part, as it plans to promote technology transfer, enabling foreign companies to benefit from entry into the domestic market, expanding the creation of innovations that result in products that benefit society, helping to bring progress towards Brazil.

Hayu 1 / 5 1  
Oct 25, 2018   #2
In my opinion it will be good to put your first three paragraphs in to one short paragraph. When I try to read it, it takes me too long to reach to your study plan which is on the fourth paragraph. So make it a bit focused and short.

You can have one/two sentence about your education background, one sentence for what difficulties you faced (why you need a further study) and one sentences to what drives you to this study.

The remaining three paragraphs are fine.

best of luck
Holt [Contributor] - / 8,590 2493  
Oct 25, 2018   #3
Elaine, your opening paragraph is not clear. The paragraph does not tell me how your education prepared you for your current career and how it applies to your interest in an MS course. The hanging sentence about Sertao does not make any sense. It will be best to remove that reference instead. Or, try to develop it into a paragraph that connects with the rest of the essay.

With regards to your first choice university, you mention the name of the professor but not what your exposure to him is supposed to achieve. You need to clarify that or remove the reference to the professor completely since that does not really have a direct relation to your skills as required for the completion of this course.

You lack a professional foundation presentation that can convince the reviewer that you have the professional capacity to address the MSc course requirements for any of the courses you have chosen. Develop that as a closing paragraph for your essay.
OP lany83 5 / 15 4  
Oct 25, 2018   #4
Hello Mary. Thank you so much for the feedback. I would like to use my essay to explain that I wish to change the area of the Pharmacy, to return to my project from the graduation of working with research and cosmetics industry. How to explain a professional application in this area? I'm confused about this


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