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Career Plan for Development Issues - Chevening Essay

Ananta 4 / 8 1  
Oct 16, 2018   #1
Dear Ms Mary Rose @Holt I would love to hear your opinion regarding my essay, Thanks a lot :)

I plan to head the collaboration with DFID Indonesia

Statistics Indonesia, as the main Statistics Institution in Indonesia, plays a very important role to provide a complete and accurate data for Indonesia Development Planning. We provide large range of data such as economy, social, agriculture etc which will help Government to plan, evaluate and make policy regarding Indonesia Development Issues. One of the example is the data used for Government's long and middle-term Development Planning that are mostly from Statistics Indonesia.

My immediate plan upon returning to the country is to get connected with Chevening Indonesia community. I will resume my work at Statistics of X where I will be able to apply what I have learned. With my understanding about Development Issues, I will help and collaborate with X Government Institution through Statistics Division in X Officials to monitor and evaluate the development of the city by analyzing data, understanding the development condition regarding of my knowledge and analyzing the policy that are related to Development Issues. I will also build upon certain ideas that I have in order to collaborate with X Officials by creating project survey related to Development Issues in X City.

After two years, I will be moving to the head office of Statistics Indonesia in Y. Working at the head office will let me have the chance designing better surveys related to Development Issues using the knowledge I will gain after graduating from my master degree and from experiences I have got from working at cities and regencies. I will evaluate the surveys and census that have been done for years by Statistics of Cities and Regencies in Indonesia so the results will have a greater impact for Indonesia Development. In five years, I will also take the chance to work together with Chevening Community who are also working on Development Issues, with National Institution and International Institution or Organization such as UNDP Indonesia & World Bank Project by doing surveys to make depth research about Indonesia Development. My knowledge of Development issues and my collaboration experience would help me designing, monitoring and evaluating my project of surveys together with the team.

As a fast growing economy, Indonesia is still the main partner for United Kingdom (UK). UK is one of the biggest trade partner for Indonesia and top investor among europe countries in 2017 for Indonesia. UK also contributes through Department For International Development (DFID) for Indonesia Development Issues such as poverty, disaster, water sanitation, etc. Since DFID works to tackle global challenge regarding Development Issues, I plan to head the collaboration with DFID Indonesia through project, surveys or research in order to get the valid data regarding people and issues need to be solved in Indonesia. The data we collaborate would be beneficial for DFID funding target to help and solve the Development Issues in Indonesia. Since our data is also used by the Government to tackle Development Issues, such as poverty, I hope for more Development Issues that could be solved in Indonesia with this collaboration.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,718 3062  
Oct 18, 2018   #2
The grammar of your essay is often imperfect but does not impede the understanding of the presentation. However, there are times when the discussion does not sound very professional because of it. However, since you are a non-native English speaker, the reviewer will make allowances for such errors in presentation. Your ambitions for your future career are clear but you are not really depicting what steps you will have to take in order to achieve these plans. Show the career progession. Relate the improvements in your career with transition sentences. You simply state it as a matter of fact, you don't apply much planning to the presentation.

There is a sentence that does not have any supporting information in it. The one about joining the Chevening community upon your return. You may retain the Chevening sentence, but you will need to further expand on that discussion thought. Since you are already close to the word limit, I think you will need to reformat all the paragraphs to make room for the Chevening presentation. If you just remove the sentence, you won't need to worry about making that reference fit with the rest of the essay.

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