I want to have a career in scientific research and projects in Biotechnology field; Chevening essay

Could you review my essay, please?

career plan after return to my country

With Regard to return to Egypt, after gaining the master degree, I want to have a career in scientific research and projects in Biotechnology field, as it has lots of solutions for serious crises in both of energy and environment sectors, in Egypt, beside its impact on the sustainability development of society, required to maintain the society resources and reduce its wastes.

Therefore I will seek for employment as a researcher at universities such as October University for Modern Science and Art "MSA" as well as Misr University for Science and Technology, R & D unit of chemicals companies or one of research facilities, where I can practically use my newly acquired knowledge and sharing researches and projects including solutions for the Egyptian community crisis.

I will concentrate on production of new biomaterials like, biofuel, biopolymer..., by using a living cell, how to genetically modify the living organism cell to be able to produce new materials, as well as utilizing this living cell to eliminate pollutants as in bioremediation. These modern applications and other techniques-which I eager to learn and explore-overcome critical problems and make a better life. I will work on spreading the awareness of the significance of biotechnology and extensive funding biotechnology researches through attending scientific and economic conferences and exhibitions, presenting international reports and studies, and also writing articles on the internet and social media.

I hope to have the required experience, potentials, network and effect, in order to direct the other universities to build biotechnology department to increase the numbers of biotechnology departments in Egypt universities, the national decision makers to establish a biotechnology researches institute or center, and to help my country to begin the second step, implementation or commercialization stage, as a long term objectives. Thus I need to gain knowledge of required factors to commercialize and convert research results into realistic, feasible and convinced projects to support decision makers, investors and funding bodies to startup these projects.

@asmaasalem

Your essay is somewhat good, but I have these recommendation for you. At the beginning of your program you may delete this With Regard to return to Egypt, you may say Regarding coming back to Egypt....

Also, it is not properly to write one paragraph as one compound sentence. In addition you have to be careful for using punctuation like in the second paragraph Therfore,

Also, don't be so general when you say that you have to direct other universities. I think you have to be more specific. Why do not say that you hope to work in the ministry of higher education to direct other Egyptian Universities.

Also, in your fourth paragraph the phrase Egypt universities should be replaced with Egyptian universities.

Asma, where is the UK government project connection? You successfully enumerated what kind of career path you plan to take upon your return to Egypt but you are not explaining how the UK supported projects in your country fit into your plans. Please take note that the Chevening scholarship committee can automatically refuse your application due to the missing reference to the UK plans in your country. As a Chevening scholar, the least you can do is work with the UK on developing your country or improving it. Before you finalize this essay, you will need to find out if the UK sponsors and R&D projects within your area of expertise. Revise the essay to connect your plans to that organization or project at a certain point. Without it, no amount of career planning on your part will win you this scholarship. Everyone I have helped has constantly reiterated the importance of this final essay. Even if your first 3 are great, the minute you cannot identify a British government interest in your country, the student is denied.

Thank a lot, @ kareem10 and @ Holt for your beneficial advice and help.