Please check my grammar, sentense structures and please comment on the construction of ideas and essay strength. thank you :)
Essay #3: Please describe one situation from your school, work, or personal life when you faced a challenge or a problem. How did you resolve it?
When I graduated from high school. I have to plan ahead for my school. I signed up in high school as a navigator Indonesian airlines plane (Sekolah Tinggi Penerbangan Indonesia). And yeah, my choice is also supported by my parents. I passed in 5 of the 6 stages of entrance test. When I know I failed last tested, the interview test. I was very disappointed, but I thaught my parents were more disappointed. I intend to try it next year. While I was working in private enterprise. But the situation is getting worse, my parents financial declining. My father was not able to return to work. Be after a year I talk about my desire to try the test again. But it turns out this time with a heavy heart they can not support it. Our family finances more uncertain, and I still have a sister who must continue her education through high school. They no longer provide direction, and freed me to choose the university but on condition that I have to pay their own costs. There is nothing wrong from their decisions. My parents are just being the imperfect, normal pair of Dad and Mom. It wasn't about them. It was just me who was too angry to them. I am not selfish, I thought about my sister too, she still young and she is more deserve to countinoue her study. Form that day, I start to make a new goals. I apply some scholarship. And I am so ambitious to get international scholarship. Why? Because my father and my mother was just received a standart education. So I really ambitious with this. First, I try president university, but I only get 80% of scholarship. I also tried monbukagusho, but I just passed the file selection. I also try university Indonesia, and I get it too. But, when I know about the payment, I must let it go because my savings weren't enough for that. I know its hard for me, I must wait 1 year again to reach my goals. Sometimes I ever think to stop my goals, because it has been 3 years I tried to make it happen (get scholarship, and get high education especially international education). But it turns out I was wrong. In fact I stopped I would not get anything other than exhausted and tired. If I stop that is precisely what the actual failure. Failed to arouse me. I realized to get up. When I was ambitious, iwas actually being grateful by optimizing what god has given to me. I held no regrets, my loss was not the end. It was just another start line.
There are many grammatical errors in your essays, for example I signed up in high school as a navigator Indonesian airlines plane (Sekolah Tinggi Penerbangan Indonesia). And yeah, my choice is also supported by my parents.In highschool, I signed up as a navigator for an Indonesian airline called, Sekolah Tinggi Penerbangan Indonesia.
When I graduated from high school. I have to plan ahead for my school.
.... this should be one sentence and there should not be a full stop in between.
I passed
in 5 of the 6 stages of
the entrance test.
When I know I failed last tested, the interview test. I was very disappointed, but I thaught my parents were more disappointed.
... you need to rephrase this line to improve its clarity;
However, when I failed the last test, which was the interview, I became very disappointed. Also, I feared my parents would be more disappointed.