This is a prompt about 'challenges you have faced' for the Apiasf scholarship

from nepal to the usa

The first fifteen years of my life were spent in one of the most beautiful country in the world, Nepal.Throughout those years, I was a social person and I loved learning new things.During those years I had good grades and a decent social life.Things changed when I came to United States. I came to United States 3 years ago, I did not know English when I came here. Living in United States is a big challenge if you do not know any English.During the first few months of my sophomore, I used to get frustrated whenever someone tried to talk to me or tried to ask me a question because I did not know how to respond. Speech class was considerably difficult for me because not only did I have to write my speech, I had to say it in front of the whole class. The thought of speaking in front of other people gave me anxiety. Not knowing English made it difficult for me to communicate and socialize as well.I literally had no friends during the first few months of school, because I couldn't talk very well and there were no Nepalese students in my school. Although I knew how to read and write in English, it did not help me at all while communicating verbally. Without a doubt, that was the time when I struggled the most. Learning English was difficult and it took me more than 3 months to be able to hold a normal conversation. I used to spend more time learning English than on any of my classes. I used to spend about 5 hours every day on my studies, 3 of them being on English. It took me 5 or 6 months, but I finally started to understand what my teachers were talking about in their classes, which was huge for me because now I did not have to go home and re-read those chapters and that saved me a few extra hours. I spent those few hours doing extracurricular activities like wrestling, joining a robotics club, and working on weekends. I believe nothing is impossible; sometimes all you need is dedication and hard work to make anything possible.

Abhishek, you still have room to add information in this essay since you have a 500 word maximum. I would like to suggest that you add information as to how the language barrier affected your academic goals and personal ambitions at the time. Talk about how frustrated you felt. Describe how it held you back from doing certain things that could have helped make your social adjustment to a new culture easier.

Tell the reviewer who you were before you came to America, how your personality changed after your arrived because of the language barrier, and what kind of personality you have managed to develop now that you already a fluent English speaker. These are the types of information that will allow your essay to be more telling of how you took on the verbal barrier challenge and how you developed a new or improved personal character because of it.

The challenge that you took on could be insurmountable for others. You however, seem to have done an excellent job of integrating yourself into the American culture. By explaining how you successfully did that, considering the highly different culture that you came from, you will be able to create a unique and perhaps, individual personality in terms of who you are a person and student applicant.

Hello, as we can read from your short essay, that the academic difficulty you had was speaking English. But you did not mention how you were able to overcome this challenge. what kind of measures and techniques you followed in order to change this situation and move forward. The prompt is asking you to explain the way you managed to overcome this challenge. I think it is better if you focus on this point in order to answer the question the best way possible.

I think that you could have concluded your essay better. The last sentence seems a little abrupt. Also, I do not think you effectively answered this part of the prompt: How have these barriers or your success in overcoming challenges affected your goals and personal character? Perhaps you can elaborate further on the last sentence to tie it all up?

I am not sure about the grammatical structure so I will not comment upon that.
Hope you do not mind the suggestion :)