Kenzer J. Hodgson Hammond
Essay Choice A: Helen Keller once said "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. What did you learn from the experience and how did it change you?
When I was young, an inexperience adolescent, I had a belief that was challenging my very existence and future. I had the belief that education was not important, especially for people from my community. I use to believe this because when I was in high school I always use to hear the older people from my community saying that is a waste of time to go to college because when you finish there is no job opportunity for someone from the Atlantic coast to advance in life. Because of this, my last three years of high was not too great for me. All I wanted to do is a get a job and accept whatever life bring.
Ironically, after I got a job those belief started to change slowly over time. I started to work at SITEL, one of the world leading contact center. Working at SITEL I qualified to work in the Capital One Campaign. Capital one is one of the most successful banks in the USA. I worked in the credit department and here is where I learned a lot about how credit works and how it shapes the world economy, but I also learned how the world's economic crisis started and how it could have been avoided. Here is when I found out what passionate me and since then one of my personal goals has been to pursue a major in business administration; because I realize that in these days business people face unprecedented challenges which must be met with unwavering leadership, unending innovation, and unparalleled vision.
Despite my early beliefs about continuing my education, my working experience has changed me completely and also helped me find my passion in life. Now I am one of the leading students at my university, helping my fellow class mate when they have difficulty in understanding a subject. But it also help me realize that I need to help the younger generations from my community to comprehend the importance of going to college and break loose from the restraints of just conforming to what life brings. I want them to become men and women that are strong to think and to act; men and women who are masters and not slaves of the circumstances; people who possess breadth of mind, clearness of thought, and the courage of their convictions so that they can perform at the highest level at whatever vocation they choose to pursue in life. I would like to become a role model for them; so that they can acknowledge that education is valuable in our time. But before I could do that I have to lead by been an example. That is why I'm pursing to get this opportunity to go study to the USA, because is a chance to continue learning and developing myself as a leader so that I can make a change in my community.
Perhaps the person I am today is a compensation for who I was years ago. That seventeen-year old, however, is no more. Now I want to show the world what I can do. Business has become my passion. It will be my future.
Kenzer, your response to the essay is good. However, it is not really the kind of response that is expected for this essay. There are a few keywords that you have to represent in your narrative in order to properly present the discussion that is required: Make sure that you represent "experience of trial and suffering" in your life. There is no representation of a specific trial in your life that led you to suffering and enlightenment.
The essay you should write must discuss a point in your life that helped build your character in relation to your ambition. Right now, you say that your personal ambition has been to pursue a business administration degree. However, you already mentioned before that you did not value your education. Try to represent some difficulty in your work life that guided your towards the importance of education. Discussing that you learned about the way the world economic problems could have been avoided does not represent the requirements of the prompt. This is more a work related awakening rather than a personal experience. Those are two different representations with only the latter actually representing the prompt requirements.
For example, you can discuss how you tried to get a promotion at your office but failed to get it because of your lack of education. That represents an experience of trial and suffering. You applied for a promotion (trial) and failed to get it (suffering), or a topic along similar lines. Perhaps discuss how your lack of education has held you back at getting a better job or something. Those are the kinds of topics that fit within the prompt parameters.
... my community saying that is WAS a waste of time to go to college because when you HAD finish FINISHED there is no job opportunity for someone from the Atlantic coast to advance in life. Because of this, my last three years of high was not too EXTREMELY great for me. All I wanted to do is a TO get a job and accept whatever life bring.
