Dear chaps, Please give some suggestion and critics to my this another essay for chevening application. I would love to share my opinion to your essay as well afterwards
services for the sake of better future of mankind
Meeting with other fellow conservationist, especially who being more experienced is noteworthy since what I learnt in the class would be totally different in the field. After graduating, I made contact with my former internship supervisor and express my interest on working there if any vacancy were available finally I got accepted and signed contract one-week later as research coordinator at Borneo Orangutan Survival Foundation (BOSF). This NGO is focused on rehabilitation of orangutan since many of them are experienced with land-conflict with human and relocate them in safer place is our job. I resided in very remote area in East Kalimantan, Indonesia where I was conducting final behavioural research and wildlife monitoring project. Besides doing a research, I obligated accompany volunteers from many various part of world, off to see orangutans and other wildlife, for instance like Gapforce (UK-based gap year and student volunteering provider). I also had meeting with funder, local communities and international or national news media even celebrities as ambassador when it came a month before to discuss about releasing plan of orangutan and this challenged myself in speaking and negotiation skill since it was not easy to speak with professionals from different expertise even if I was prepared well.
After sixth month, I decided to not extend the contract it was very hard leaving my orangutan kiddos but I had to as I want to seek more challenged experience. By the day, I was applying a job in Facebook as wildlife trade officer and one month after being interviewed, officially became part of team. It was like a dream come true because I met my role model in conservation, Prof Vincent Nijman and Prof K.A.I Nekaris, , both are foremost wildlife biologist who worked in Java since 1992 and director of this project, affiliated with Oxford Brookes University and TRAFFIC, leading NGO working globally on trade in animals and plants. My duty is focusing on wildlife trade survey over 12 cities in Java and Bali, has not been easy since interviewed-traders sometimes become suspicious and their words struck on me, but I always take it easy. Every month I have to submit monthly report to our director , funder from Cleveland Metropark Zoo (USA) and conservation agency in Java. In midst of working-period, I have been accepted to join Wildlife Conservation Course which held by Wildllife Conservation Research Unit, Oxford University in Nottingham University Malaysia Campus. It was my first-abroad experience and genuinely gave me amazing experience by meeting with other wildllife biologist from different 11 countries in Asia , thanks to my director who allowed me to join this course
When I become a Chevening scholar, I confident to be more advanced in many ways and engaging to another scholar and alumni to be "more human" by taking their attention toward biodiversity rich countries as conservation priorities and being contagious influencer in preserving wildlife and their surrounding,persist ecosystem services for the sake of better future of mankind.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 Ahmad, this is not a clear nor effective essay presentation. Your networking skills, development process, and usability does not indicate a real nor truly working and effective network in the field of animal conservation. The fact that you mention Facebook further dispels any idea that you are a leading professional in your field of work. While you did mention the names of 2 leading authorities in the field, you are not making any sense with regards to that presentation.
How does your meeting these 2 people indicate a notable network on your part? Did they do anything to help you during a situation in the performance of your tasks? More importantly, are they writing your Chevening recommendation letter? If you are merely name dropping them but they do not have any sort of direct working relationship with you, then your mentioning them is useless. Specially when, in your essay, you do not mention anything other than having met them but not working directly for or with them in a networking capacity.
Filing reports with the founder of the organization does not create a network. That just means you are a record keeper or a secretary. I think that you are not really sure about what the Chevening networking essay is all about. You must read the samples at this forum and then revise your essay to be more in line with the requirements of the prompt. You are not offering a look into how you develop a working network, how this network has helped you professionally, and why this is a network that Chevening must consider an important addition to their roster. Right now, the essay is weak, doesn't make much sense, and truly does not present a clear networking response to the prompt.
Your presentation sounds more like a text version of your resume bullet points / outline. The highlight of the writing is in your duties and responsibilities at the organizations, which is definitely not what networking is all about. This essay cannot be used for your application intentions. You must write a new one that clearly explains your networking skills.
