Hi Everyone! I will appreciate if you would like to review my essay :)
Essay Chevening - Leadership - encourage and enable others to learn, grow, and improve their skills
Formerly, I could barely continue college due to the economic issue. Neither me nor my parents couldn't afford my study. However, this condition did not make me discourage. I decided to look for information and apply for scholarship that actually fund my study. That experience taught me passionately encourage and enable others to learn, grow, and improve their knowledge, skills, and abilities.
After graduating from college in 2014, I joined volunteering program as Education Improvement Facilitator at Indonesia Teaching Movement Foundation in Fakfak, West Papua for a year. I taught students in primary school with creative methods and assisted teachers in improving and developing their teaching competence. I also organized various learning activities through extracurricular such as inspiration class. Through these activities, my student more motivated to learn and commit to continue study. Presently, some of my student are studying at the flight school SMK Taufiq Mubarak in Kuningan, West Java.
Currently, I work at an educational philanthropic foundation called the Tanoto Foundation in Cilacap, Central Java. As the district coordinator, my role is to coordinate 32 of district facilitators to facilitate training and do assistance teachers and principals. In addition, I ensure all activities run smoothly according to the workplan. Thus far, more than 500 teachers, principals, and school committees have been trained. The teachers' good practice writings are published in the Central Java tribune and they get additional credit points.
Now, in the village where I live, quite a lot of working age children are not working and housewives are less productive. Seeing this, I was called to make something of value. I opened a social macrame business. By providing trainings, collaboration with one of the export companies. Now I and 15 macrame crafters make macrame and export it to Germany and America. In addition, they earn more and have productive activities.
Based on those experiences, it turns out that I able to empower others to gain their skills. I wish I get this scholarship so I can improve my leadership in education sector.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 The references are all for assistant roles, not leadership roles. Was there an influencing reference? Yes, that can be clearly seen in the presentation. However, both references to leadership and influencing are on the low end of the leadership and influencing scale. The way that the applicant functioned is more of a rank and file person who was following an order list, it does not represent any leadership skills or talents. The applicant is an implementor, not a leader. There is a big difference. The only part that could have a true leadership and influencing representation is the one with regards to the macrame business. If the applicant can better explain the leadership and influencing role in that portion, then a real L&I essay might be developed. The first paragraph in particular should be deleted because it is a plea for scholarship acceptance based on a "pity me" story, which will not help in the consideration of the actual required skills and abilities for this written interview.
