Hi every one I will be applying for chevening scholarship this year. kindly see a draft of my essays I need your help for review. thanks in advance
1. LEADERSHIP & INFLUENCE QUESTION.
Chevening is looking for individuals that will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer.
(minimum word count: 50 words, maximum word count: 500 words)
A good leader should be able to communicate, collaborate and inspire people to work toward the goal. A good leader should lead by example
Through my career I had faced many challenges which required my leadership skills to overcome them.
When I started work as junior field Engineer I quickly develop a very strong HSE (Human safety environmental) culture which my company and line managers encouraged and supported me to stop and report all related unsafe behavior, in the first two years I was awarded employee with best safety record and reporter in my department my safety attitude had encouraged my colleagues to safely behave a year later two members of our team had best safety record than me but in overall my department had the highest safety record comparing to others.
One of most difficult situation I have faced as project Engineer, was working with demotivated team, less personal than what job required and time.
Due to down turn on oil industry I have seen my team reduced from 12 members to 4, due to less activity, this was one of the most demotivated factor, everyone was thinking I will be the next one to be fired. We just had a few monitoring and troubleshooting jobs we were not expecting any new jobs for the next 6 months.
One day my operations mangers coming from a meeting with client he called me saying that we will be having a job in two weeks, equipment for three wells and personal should be ready to mobilize in two weeks times. I was like this not possible, because I knew that it will require a hard working from the team and extra time which they were not willing to.
Before I met with the team I discussed with my operations manager regarding the plan I put in place which should require the employees to work 3 extra hours during week day and 8 hours on Saturday. So agreed that 100% extra time should be paid. Then I organize a meeting with the team telling them that we need to prepare equipment for three jobs and we should do our best to show to up management even with less resources we still doing our best to continue deliver our job with highest quality and meet customer satisfaction. I explain the program and that the 100% extra time will be paid. During those days I left my office put on my coveralls and I was working with them in workshop all most full time and after hours this really motivated the team and we managed to meet client time line. My boss send me an email congratulating me for the good job and I replied him saying the team did it.
In conclusion I have chosen to share this experiences because I feel it highlights several leadership or Influence aspects. By assuming leadership in safety even without noticed I had activated or influence my team members to do the same and by using my problem solving skills, communication skills and most important work as team we were able to prepare and deliver the equipment on time.
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Hi Alfredo,
Welcome to EF Team! :)
In this forum, you are allowed to post only one essay in a single thread. Posting multiple essays like this would not be appropriate. Thus, I would like to focus only on the first essay in this post. I hope you can follow through.
- First, I think that for the leadership and influence question, you have surpassed the words limit. This indicates that you cannot follow a simple instruction that is given by Chevening. Also, I think that while registering online, you cannot write more than 500 words. The system would not let you do that. Therefore, my first suggestion is to compress or summarize this essay into an appropriate words count.
- Second, sorry to say that your paragraphing is quite messy and scrambled. Some of them are quite long and some of them are really short. You can just at least give one space / one enter to indicate that the spaces between each paragraph. This would help the reader to find out the correct paragraph structure of your essay.
- Lastly, if you want to create a catchy hook, try to combine them inside the introduction paragraph. Making hook separated like what you've done will only damage the coherence and cohesion flow of your essay.
As you can see Alfredo, I have given my insights related to your essay. Let me know if you need further assistance. You can just post the revision below my feedback instead of posting it as a new thread. Good luck for that :)
Hi Alredo, your essay is a little hard to read. I started fixing some grammatical errors however I have not been able to finish it as yet. I think that your examle is a little bit too long winded and almost like a story. Find atleast three things you have done that show leadership traits and briefly explain on them. This example does not really sell your leadership skills.
Ive tried to help you with the beginning below.. here goes
... people to work toward(s) the a goal and A good leader should lead by example.
Throughoutmy career I havedfaced encountered many challenges ...
... I quickly developed a very strong .... iI n the first two years I was awarded employee withthe best safety record and reporter in my department my safety attitude had encouraged my colleagues ...My improved attitude towards safety had encouraged my colleagues to follow in my footsteps. As a result, two members achieved the best safety record a year later.
One of most difficult situations I have faced (...) with demotivated team, less personal than what job required and time . (needs clarification)
I will look at the rest later and see if I can give anymore insight as I am trying apply myself. Your Studying in the Uk question seems good and also your career goals question however it has quite a bit of grammar error and wording. You should try rereading to make sure you have explained yourself how you really want to
All the best!!
@inchanpants89,
thank you very much for your comments I will do the modifications and post the reviewed essay.
Hello
Hope this helps!
My boss send me --- My boss sent me
I replied him --- I replied to him
this experiences - these experience
