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Chevening Scholarship - Leadership Must Be Nurtured Since Childhood


abvsuward 1 / -  
Oct 13, 2020   #1
Hi everyone, i'm currently preparing the leadership essay for my Chevening Scholarship application. I would gladly appreciate and thankful for all the feedback for my essay.

Thank you in advance for the help! :)

Chevening application essay



Chevening is looking for individuals who will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer.

As the first born in the family, I unwittingly grew up in the environment that really shape my leadership spirit. My parents always expect me to be a role model who can lead my sister, which fortunately how my parents educated me had a tremendous impact in my life.

The impact just started to felt real when I was in the middle school. Back then, I was encouraged by my friends, seniors and even teachers to become one of the student council president candidate as they think I will be able to lead the council well. Initially, I don't even have the desire or actually want the role, nonetheless as I was receiving a lot of trust and support, I finally had the confidence to try. Turns out, I won the majority votes by more than 60% and officially become the student council president. The same story repeated when I went to high school, I was again trusted to be the student council president by winning the majority votes of around 70%.

Likewise, during my university I actively engaged in the Catholic student association and lead multiple events. The biggest event that I personally initiated was Social Days. Social Days was a 3 months long program with several events starting from bazaar and seminars for fundraising and awareness, to the highlight of the event where we provided a free doctor consultation and medication for the disadvantaged. It was a brand new event concept that has never been done since the organization's inception in 1990. At first, everyone was skeptical and prefer to have the usual annual events, because it requires large funds and we don't have prior experience. Thankfully, I managed to influence and convince the team, student advisor and even the alumni to have this event. It was such an honor for me as we successfully treat more than 300 patients in Kalijodo, one of the slum area in Jakarta.

Fast forward to my life as a banker now, I have been selected multiple times for leadership roles. The most recent one is that I just got elected to become the Agent of Change for Client Management Experience and the Head of Outing Committee. Furthermore, I also continue to hone my influencing skill through the current role as Relationship Manager for multinational companies. Through close contact with client's CFO and Finance Head, I was expected to influence them to use our services. Within the last 8 months, I managed to acquire cash management business from global FMCG company, mandated by vehicle manufacturer to provide IDR450bn lending facility, and create hedging facility for renowned Power player who has yearly FX volume of ±USD100mn.

Foremost, I believe my nurtured experiences in leadership and influencing roles are good foundation to achieve my goal and making impact in Indonesia. My main goal that got inspired by the economy impact of COVID-19 pandemic is to boost micro-businesses and reduce poverty level in Indonesia by educating the unemployed and micro-business owner to be a legitimate entrepreneur.
dsari1602 1 / 2  
Oct 13, 2020   #2
Hi, i think your essay is good. But to be more coherent you should add more what action that you have done during your leadership experience in line 1 and 3 which not only show your experience as a leader.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Oct 14, 2020   #3
You are over the maximum word count. For proper formatting you should not go past 450 words. The reviewer will appreciate short but relevant leadership essays rather than 500 words that do not relate nor prove any national leadership and influencing potential on your part. The reviewer really does not care for your childhood backstory and academic activities. These do not prove that there is a leadership ability being developed. Neither did it indicate a true influencing potential. Focus your essay instead on your career as a banker. Discuss the time or times when you were called upon to lead and influence others towards the completion of a project. I did not read anything about these in the paragraph, which made this important presentation even less relevant than the rest of the essay. The overall essay is over written, without actually providing the required information. The reviewer will not allow this essay to get to the next round. It sounds more like a college personal statement application essay than a leadership and influencing discussion presentation. We need clear examples of leadership and influencing skills. Show, don't tell. Telling the reviewer will not prove anything. Showing how you led and influenced might have the convincing power required to make the reviewer consider your potential as a national leader and influencer.
Ada1998 3 / 4 2  
Oct 14, 2020   #4
Hi, this is generally a good essay, but your make the eassay focus more on the activities which you have done to impact on your community/ society. You mentioned being selected for multiple leadership roles, include the things you did or worked on that had a positive impact in your work or office. You can talk about how you went about the cash management business, then go ahead to talk about the effect it had on the renowned Power player.

Goodluck!!


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