to be in the business world
Over the course of my education in the University, I had always wanted to be in the business world. Studying Sociology and Economics even gave me more grounding to enter the field of business. I have been in the teaching field after my bachelors degree and now I wish to gain an in-depth understanding of business management. Therefore, a masters in International Business Management would help me gain a broader perspective about how global markets function across all sectors.
Having this in mind, my first choice of school is University of Kent. Ghana's economy shows that we are still open for business skills advancement; achieving MSc International Business Management from Kent University will be a robust foundation for me to apply the latest advancement of business management skills in my country. As this course covers a broad spectrum of business issues, I will be prepared to overcome various business issues in Ghana and create new ideas in the future. Again, the excellent links with other business schools globally will give me the opportunity to gain international working experience. My country, Ghana, has several business deals with developed countries yet, we never get to boom in business as them. I believe the international experience I will gain from this course will aid me help my country in that aspect when I return to my country to work.
At the heart of Ghana's problem and Africa as a whole is not entirely the lack of resources but rather how to formulate and implement good policies, great business skills and good management that effectively maximizes the opportunities globalization presents us. With University of Leeds being ranked 4th in the world and 1st in the UK in the International Business category of the Financial Times Masters in Management rankings, 2018, studying MSc International Business there, I believe can gain me a holistic understanding of business practices as well as strategies involved in managing business and organisations on a global level. Equipped with this knowledge, I would work to implement such effective practices in organisations in my country.
Westminster University is my third choice of school. Apart from the excellent global reputation of this university, the school has designed the MSc International Business Management course in a skillful way which is very much desirable for effective business personnel and leaders in a fast changing global business contest. Again, the courses are designed to advance one's knowledge and develop the analytical and evidence-based skills that are needed in my future professional life. By having a degree in such a course from this school will develop my skills in solving structural business problems in my country.
In conclusion, I believe I can do better in my commitment, that is, to serve Ghana through career. I plan to apply my knowledge and international networks to transform business practices in my country which will help businesses to thrive which will in turn make a positive contribution to the economy.@Quizzy
Hi! Thanks for the continuous presence in the forum. We always appreciate having people around. Hopefully, my feedback will give you an idea of how to improve your writing.
There's a logical leap in the first paragraph that you need to address. Mentioning your merged experience with sociology and economics to link it with business still seems to be a vague move. I suggest that you try and explain briefly why these subjects are correlated, especially because you're trying to establish your own credentials in these write ups. The last sentence of the paragraph also should be more of a brief summation on what the readers will expect in the forthcoming paragraphs.
Moreover, when you make mention of the university that you are interested in, try to be more specific. There are tens of hundreds of these similar application materials - remember this. What will give you leverage is if you are able to show that your interest in the field goes a lot more deeper than merely knowing that it's a program that "covers a broad spectrum of business issues" because it shows that you've actually delved into the specifics of the degree.
Conclusion can still be expanded to accommodate better to your prospects for the future. In turn, this will be a clearer vision as to what you are anticipating from the program itself.
