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I choose the courses in U.K. which are really relevant to my academic background and my future plan.


sbina 2 / 5  
Nov 2, 2017   #1
hey, here is my essay for Chevening scholarship. I need some suggestion for my essay, please give me some feedback to improve my essay. Thank you.

Chosen three university courses



Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future.

The biggest challenge in my country is a problem about employment. There are over seven million people who unemployment in 2017. The problem caused by the deficiency of employment field. The necessity employment field does not linear to the percentage of the people who search for the appropriate job. Therefore, it triggers me to establish my own company in future.

Through some research and sharing knowledge with people in expert, I discovered to establish a company needs two mandatory skills, which is an experience and education on management. I have great experiences which gained from my current work as an Engineer. For my higher education. I choose three universities in U.K as my course.

My first choice is MSc. Construction Project Management in the University of XXX. The modules designed for me to discover the project control mechanism which emphasizes in budgeting and cost management, resources management, and contract management, also intend to offer a description about understanding both of people-related and technical knowledge to accomplish successful management of project. Furthermore, I really interested in construction project management professional practice module which learns about a live case study. At the same time, it also the most challenges within enhancing my experience at a teamwork, risk management and planning project. With this module, I will gain not only live experience but also a networking, because it uses an ongoing construction or civil construction project as a tool.

My next choice is MSc. Civil Engineering and Management in the University of YYY. The modules in the course will broaden my knowledge of management while also furthering my knowledge about civil engineering, mostly focusing on integrated systems design project and business and management aspect. The most interesting part of this course is I will teach jointly by the ZZZ School. I am particularly interested in the marketing management module. This is a new for me to obtain knowledge about marketing since my current work as an engineer does not correspond directly to the marketing aspect. I will see my self with strong marketing skill which greatly helping me to advance my future company.

My last choice is MSc(Eng) International Construction Management and Engineering at the University of XXX. The course aims to offer me a core management which concerns on project life cycle and prepare for increasingly global construction. There are two modules catch my intention, procurement management and strategic management in construction. The procurement management module will help me to discover strategies for running a project effectively. As an Engineer, I face a problem every day. Hence, I require to implement a different managerial technique for each problem and combine with strong technical knowledge. That is why the strategic management in construction module will increase my skill significantly.

To sum up, I choose the courses which really relevant to my academic background and my future plan. Moreover, I strongly believed that study at U.K is a golden opportunity to bring me one step closer to my career in the future.

(word count: 500/500)
Hiwi_Life 10 / 31 7  
Nov 2, 2017   #2
@sbina
Your explanations for the choices are good. But I don't see the relevance of the first and last paragraph so in my opinion I think you can remove it. and you can expand the second paragraph by adding some background of your last education and current work.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4773  
Nov 2, 2017   #3
bism, the essay is suffering from a lack of foundational discussion. You represent the goals and objectives of your desire for your advanced academic degree which is good. However, you do not have the mandatory 2 paragraphs that represent your academic background and then your actual professional background in relation to the objectives statement that you provided. Your university discussions also lack a reference as to how the courses you have chosen will have a direct impact on your career goals. How will these courses end up making you promotion material when you return to work? Your discussion needs to go beyond the interests. You should veer towards the applications in your profession as well. Make sure that you can also mention the method by which your current position at the office has given you the required experience to pass the course based upon work related references.
tika89 2 / 3 1  
Nov 2, 2017   #4
Hi sbina,

I agree with @Holt, when reading your essay I feel that I haven't got a firm grasp on who you are and why you want to continue your education, how your plans in education support your career plans.

And I think this sentence

To sum up, I choose the courses which really relevant to my academic background and my future plan

can be rewritten, because right now you are just reiterating that you wrote a good essay. I think the conclusion might benefit from a concise summary of how your choice of courses are relevant and can benefit your future.
OP sbina 2 / 5  
Nov 2, 2017   #5
Dear all, thank you for the suggestions. Honestly, I a little bit confuse about the essay, I was thinking that we should not explain about academic background, and professional career since that is has include on the aplication.

I wil revise as soon as possible


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