Hello everyone. I am going to apply for Australia Awards Scholarship.
The last year, I applied for Australia Awards Scholarship with the essay below, but NO success.
This year, I am planning to apply again, and would like to revise my essays.
Before rewriting my essays, I need to know where I made a mistake, and how I should improve it.
I would really appreciate if you review my essay.
Thanks in advance.
WHY DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR PROPOSED COURSE AND INSTITUTION?
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I am aiming to serve as a bridge to bring Mongolian business owners to the global market. This aim led me to embark on a career as a foreign relations manager at an education consulting agency. During my employment at consulting agency for over 2 years, I worked with many Mongolian youth who want to study abroad. Similarly, I have also consulted some small and medium enterprises that plan to sell their goods and service in overseas markets. However, I have noticed that lack of knowledge in laws relating to international trade and shipping is their main obstacles to enter a foreign market. Although I have improved my skills necessary for international business while working as a foreign relations manager, I observed that strengthening my skills in the areas where enterprises face obstacles most, would play a vital role in achieving my aim to make my contribution to export performance of Mongolia. This encouraged me to pursue the Master of International Trade and Development.
I have decided to study at University of Adelaide because the structure of their proposed course best suit my needs in comparison with the similar courses offered by other institutions. In order to successfully export goods and service across international borders, I am required to improve my research skill and strengthen my skills in devising an analytical and effective business strategy on a particular market in compliance with trade law and regulations. I expect to improve these skills through the courses such as "International trade law", "International trade: strategies & opportunities", and "Research methods in international trade".
In addition, the Institute for International Trade at University of Adelaide has a skilled staff and a vast network of associate experts with backgrounds in international trade. They conduct extensive trade-related research in both academic and applied settings. This means professors participate actively in their field and keep their knowledge up-to-date.