Hi everyone!
Can you help me check and correct my essay below?
As witnessing the growth of industrialization of own nation, I have placed more concerns on how to increase industrial credibility to secure the current investors and to attract more investors. As Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN) Integration is coming in the near future, there would be a large-scale of investors looking for places to increase their incomes as much as their reputations. Cambodia can be one amongst the place they strive to explore considering the advantages criteria provided including low-cost of labor. As having experiences working in the field of industrial production, I firmly understand that improving productivity of manufacturing can produce more profitable results to the organization and these only occur when leaders aware how to engage properly.
As a consequence, by taking the coursework of Master of Engineering Management, I will be able to demonstrate a superior knowledge and understanding of Engineering theory and practice, managing the effective use of innovative ideas in industry, and demonstrate how to design a technology-based curriculum and the methods of leading and managing production. Having these skills and knowledge will enable me to help improving industrial productivity in Cambodia. Another reason I chose this coursework is that since Engineering Management is my favorite subject so which I earned "A" grade for this course in Bachelor Degree, I am confident to produce excellent output out of this postgraduate degree.
I have decided to attend this appropriate coursework in Melbourne University and Macquarie University, which will provide the best quality coursework that I need. Melbourne University has an outstanding reputation of excellence in teaching and research, with the most prestigious and highly regarded international rankings, and Macquarie University was awarded 5 stars in the international QS Stars rating system for its performance in teaching, facilities, innovation, and specialist criteria.
Daroth, kindly find my corrections below;
- As witnessing the growth of industrialization of my own nation
- I have more concerns...
- income
- leaders are aware on how
- Consequence is a negative word so delete it and start you sentence with, "In taking.."
- I have decided to take this Masters in Melbourne...
Also, mind your grammar and proof read this essay before submitting it.
Cheers!!!
Thank you so much Justivy! that helps me a lot! :) From your perspective, do you find this essay a persuasive one?
[Another reason why I chose this coursework is that since Engineering Management is my favorite subject I learn my favourite subjects which is Engineering Management so which I will earned "A" grade for this course in Bachelor Degree, I am confident to produce excellent output out of this postgraduate degree]
I want to mention that I have studied a course titled "Engineering Management and Planning" in Bachelor Degree so I believe I can produce output out of this postgraduate degree.
