Why I have chosen the three university courses in the United Kingdom? Chevening application

Greetings of the day for every one,

I would appreciate if you have a look at my essay for chevening about why i have selected three university courses ..... thanks a lot .

Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future.?

bright future

The reason why I have chosen these three university courses is that I believe in these courses for achieving bright future for myself, my society and my country, whereas my post study is the same as these chosen courses (mechatronics engineering) and that supports me to understand the modern technologies in the whole world which can help my country to overcome its current crisis, Besides its related to my experience at my work field which will help me to facilitate and develop the engineers' and technicians' abilities to do site works easily, also studying all the ways to develop the instruments and devices for accurate measuring or develop robots that can help entering small, narrow places or high temperature areas which is difficult to access by the engineers, technicians or workers such as making maintenance inside the turbine or generator at the power plant where I work there, also make or develop an exoskeleton suit for workers to increase their ability for heavy work (mechanical works), also make or develop a quad-copter used for detecting any fracture or leakage in the pipes that provides water or fuel for the power plant because the paths for those pipes are located in rugged lands and difficult to reach by workers,...etc, Now I am member of a training and humanitarian development organization called (Green Spring Organization "NGO"), Head of the training committee, I have made many training course of (robotics and programming for kids) for orphan kids (free course) and other kids in my governorate (and whole country in the future), it's the first course in Iraq for kids , I want to help the kids in my country to avoid and forget the violence because of war and it give me a push to discuss with Directorate of education to in this course as a modern and fun education methods in the schools and make a countrywide competitions, All above reasons is inspire me to choose those courses .

Wael, I think you should make your essay clear. You only made one long sentence with a lot of comas. I also think it's a good idea if you state the courses you're applying for clearly for e.g : I wish to study mechatronics engineering as this was my post study course as an undergraduate. This will help me gain more knowledge to understand the modern technology...

Wael, this is not the proper way to write this essay. You must open it with an explanation of your professional skills that have led to your interest in these 3 universities and courses. Then, you must indicate each university and course in a separate paragraph. Support that presentation with an explanation of your academic foundation in relation to the course, what your current, applicable training in your profession is, and how you hope to have the course improve your career opportunities in the future. Do not give the reviewer one tremendously long, ill formatted essay to read and then hope that he can understand what you are talking about. If you are unsure as to how to present this essay, then look at the readily available examples at this forum. Read the suggestions made for the same essays and use that information to help you revise your own response essay. Believe me when I tell you that this essay cannot be used with this prompt. You must delete this essay and start writing a new, more appropriate one.

Greetings of th day dear @holt , @Sophytrick ,
Kindly , checking my edited essay below, i will be very thankful if you reply.

Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future.?

One of the important decisions in my life is choosing "Mechatronics" as undergraduate study for many reasons, Firstly , the control, automation, Artificial Intelligence and robotics systems are my favorite technology and give me the passion to make, develop and invent ,Secondly, when I graduated, I faced many obstacles ,the organizations, companies and ministries in my country (Iraq) doesn't have informations about Mechatronics and Robotics and how to explain it and where they put the Mechatronics engineers to benefit from them, Actually there are many benefits of Mechatronics in my country, it can occupied in power plants, oil field, education, electronics companies, ...etc, Based on my experience for education and power plants, there are lack of resources, understanding about Mechatronics, Robotics and Artificial Intelligence which is very important for modern countries.

The introduction above gave me motivation and made me believe to choose the three universities and courses for improve myself to make bright future and be influencer for my society and country, and supports me to understand the modern technologies in the whole world which can help my country to overcome its current crisis, And how to take advantage of my specialty, I have chosen three different universities with almost the same courses and deeply concerned for me :

1-Sheffield Hallam university, the course is (Automation, Control and Robotics).
2-De Montfort university, the course is (Mechatronics).
3-Plymouth university, the course is (Robotics).
All the three choices above will enhance my experience at my work field which will help me to facilitate and develop the engineers' and technicians' abilities to do site works easily, also studying all the ways to develop the instruments and devices for accurate measuring or develop robots that can help entering small, narrow places or high temperature areas which is difficult to access by the engineers, technicians or workers such as making maintenance inside the turbine or generator at the power plant where I work there, also make or develop an exoskeleton suit for workers to increase their ability for heavy work (mechanical works), ,...etc, Now I am member of a training and humanitarian development organization called (Green Spring Organization "NGO"), Head of the training committee, I have made many training course of (robotics and programming for kids) for orphan kids (free course) and other kids in my governorate (and whole country in the future), it's the first course in Iraq for kids , I want to help the kids in my country to avoid and forget the violence because of war and it will give me a push to discuss with Directorate of education to in this course as a modern and fun education methods in the schools and make a countrywide competitions, I am sure those three choices will inspire me to do the best for my society and country.