Common wealth development impact essay

hydrocarbon explorations and development

Following the significant natural gas discoveries in the country of almost 57 trillion cubic feet (TCF), Tanzania became one of new frontiers and hotspot for hydrocarbon explorations and development in East Africa. An insufficient number of high-level local experts especially in exploring and developing this resource in the country stimulated my locomotion to study petroleum engineering. With few local experts especially from exploration stage, the rights of Tanzanians to be recruited, engaged and developed are limited so I feel responsible for the welfare of my country by helping to explore, develop and produce this huge reserve of natural gas and utilize it efficiently. For that reason, I am very eager to broaden my knowledge, skills, and expertise in the area of petroleum exploration and production to a top-level by applying for a Master's degree in Petroleum Engineering in UK Universities.

The population increase, coupled with the quest for attaining middle-income industrial economy by 2025, presents Tanzania with big challenges in the energy sector, Low access to reliable electricity is one of the factors impeding Tanzania in realizing industrial economy. As we know the energy industry is cost-sensitive involving science and high technology and calls for high levels of technical skills from its staff to exploit and utilizing energy sources such as natural gas. So I believe MSc in Petroleum Engineering is an essential specialized skill and gear in adding value to oil and gas exploration and energy development projects in Tanzania as it will decrease the shortage of the experts in gas and oil exploration thus contributing to the advancement and development of the industry in Tanzania and fulfilling the objective of Tanzania's development vision 2025 and Natural gas policy, which aims at empowering Tanzanians to ensure optimal benefit from natural gas industry. Therefore completing a master's degree will be specifically in line with this goal, with a view in returning to my homeland to put the skills into use for the benefit (economic and technical development) of my country.

Upon returning home after completing my studies, in my role as an academic staff I will use the skills and knowledge I acquired to create well trained, equipped and modern petroleum experts for Tanzanian oil and gas industry since there is still high demand of expertise in oil and gas and the demand are expected to rise rapidly in the near future.

I will also do more cutting-edge researches by working and collaborating with other organizations such Tanzania Petroleum Development Corporation (TPDC) and UK Department for International Development (DFID) to try and provide answers to most burning or interesting questions in oil/gas and energy sector, and helping to influence and implement energy strategies and government policies thus contributing to the advancement and development of the industry in Tanzania. The success of exploration and delivering of natural gas plus good implementation of policies will create new economic opportunities and increasing energy access through power generation from natural gas. This will increase energy security also more job creation.

Kindly assist me in improving this essay. Your help will be appreciated thanks

Using excessive prepositional phrases and long complex sentences makes essay tasteless. Answering all the questions and having a para for each answer is efficient also you want to use comma bit less frequently.

Correction:
... will be specifically specified in line ...

Thanks a lot, urpal for the reply.!!i will work on your comments

Shaame, you were being asked to write a study plan, but you created a motivational essay instead. Those are two different essays governed by two different sets of prompts. As it is, I cannot tell you to simply use less prepositional phrases or long complex sentences because you did not write the correct essay with regards to the prompt requirements. There is no sense in editing the content of an essay that does not deliver a study plan for your masters thesis based upon the required information. The reviewer will be using the prompt statement to assess the validity of your essay.

Once he reads this response, he will realize that you did not understand the prompt requirements, which is why you did not deliver the correct response nor use the guide questions in the development of your essay. The result will be the automatic rejection of your application based on your inability to follow English instructions. This essay shows that you will not perform well as a student in the university so they will not accept you as an applicant.

Write a new essay that responds to each question in an outline form. List your reasons based on the prompt requirements first, then expand those into relevant discussion paragraphs. Then come back here to have your essay assessed once again for prompt responsiveness. Think of the focus of your studies in terms of field of interest in relation to:

1. Your ambition for your country
2. Your professional goals
3. Your academic goals

What is the specific field of interest that you will focus on during your time studying. It cannot be a general reference because of the target audience, usability, possible outcomes, timeline, and impact measurement specifications of the essay. These are the reasons why I cannot approve the use of this essay for the series of prompts indicated. You really have a very strong tendency to wander when discussing and these wandering moments are what created the problem with your prompt presentation, weakening it and blurring your discussion. The entire essay can use clarity in terms of discussion.

You somewhat responded to the first 5 prompts, all of which require more specific content development in terms of prompt responsiveness. The last 2 prompts, which are the most important parts are not represented in the essay discussion. You will need to write new paragraphs for those required responses. Keep it short, keep it informative, don't over-discuss. Start with a subject sentence to help you stay on track with your paragraph discussions.

Thanks a lot, holt for your comments and positive reply!! You're doing a great work to help us!!