"If you leave I will have a breakdown...please... just don't let go" were the words imprinted in my mind as I held the hands of a trembling and frightened hospital patient. I had come to know this elderly man during my weekly hospital visits. He, along with numerous other individuals, had become bound to the hospital beds, separated from the outside world. I have had the pleasure of interacting with these unique individuals in the attempt of making their stay more comfortable. At the hospital, I also aid trained nurses in distributing the new H1N1influenza vaccinations, and will soon be serving as a greeter, where I will be guiding others through the hospital and offering answers to a variety of questions. I perceive my volunteerism here not only as a place of verification to be a medical doctor, but also as a place where I can assist those who face their weakest moments of lost hope and frustrations.
Not long ago, I witnessed countless proud fist pumps in the air, shrieks of joy, and tears of gratification. The expressions of happiness were pure, rare, and elevating. I was the rhythmic gymnastics sports technical manager for the Special Olympics. It was an endeavor that allowed me to test my limits, lead people of all ages, and provide a rewarding experience to volunteers, coaches, and athletes. For seven months, I worked with influential, well-respected people, planned everything to the smallest detail, and ensured a unique and positive experience for everyone involved in the competition. It was thoroughly enriching to be able to provide this experience for those persevering athletes and I wholeheartedly look forward to becoming involved again.
Bratty, mischievous kids, colorfully labeled lesson plans, powerful little high fives, and a game of hide-and-go-seek...oh, I love my job! I am also a certified gymnastics coach. My day often begins with energized kids frolicking around me, advances to their blistering hands, wobbling legs, copious amounts of questions, and ends with jumping high fives, cheery faces, and possibly a few hugs. As a coach, I am not only responsible for providing a safe yet challenging environment, but also for leading these young, impressionable minds with assertiveness and passion. I am eternally rewarded when I see my athletes having a good time, when their hard work leads to improvements, or when I see the appreciation in the faces of the athletes and parents. It is fulfilling to guide these kids both in gymnastics and in life; however, they too, have influenced me greatly. Their vibrant spirits and demand for patience motivates me to never lose liveliness or the desire to learn.
Throughout high school I have been involved with various other sports including soccer and karate. I was also involved with kickboxing and modern defendo for two years where I learned about discipline, human vulnerability, and the importance of awareness. Currently, I am enrolled in dance classes and extreme community recreational activities including hiking, kayaking, and camping. Furthermore, I have taken courses in the field of theatre performance and studio arts. I recently attended a non-violent crisis intervention training program and a First Aid and CPR course. I also eagerly look forward to donating blood in the next few months. Additionally and most excitingly, I am arranging for a missionary trip to Ecuador in summer of 2010.
I not only envision myself becoming a medical doctor one day, but I also hope to apply my services globally. I desire to work in solidarity with impoverished communities, to delve into the complicated social issues, and make a difference in the world through knowledge and service.
You have a lot of good points. But you should organize all your accomplishments/activities better. In your essay, you use a dramatic tone to describe some events, and use a flat, monotonous tone for others. I suggest you either go into more detail about the hospital volunteering, or write the whole essay in the same tone.
