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I am much confident about my capacity and ability to develop the community and bring a good change


Shamsher sing 3 / 9  
Dec 27, 2016   #1
Essay Choice B: According to Ronald Reagan, "The greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things. He is the one that gets the people to do the greatest things." Describe an instance where you had to be a leader in your community. What did you learn about yourself, your leadership style, and your capacity to create change?

It was the last winter in December 2015 when most of my classmates were enjoying the winter vacation, as a community worker of "Sadon Sarker Foundation" I went to the district "Shariatpur" along with some group of people to run 4 days 'clothes for education' program in the different places of the village named "Nawpara" where most of the people are poor and uneducated. The main purpose of this program was to educate people specially the adult and distribute warm cloths among them as the gift of their participation with us.During this program I was responsible for the co-ordination and provision of the program though I was confused about my leading capability.But through using my extrovert personality, managerial skill and previous experience I was able to figure out my leading capability for the first time.It wasn't an easy task to conduct this program because we were facing several problem such as time adjustment with the participants as most of them were farmer thus they can't attend during the day time and there was no electricity in the village so we were unable to run the program at night. Then I decided to teach the participants from 6 o'clock in the morning .It was very hard because of the cold season and some of my group mate were denying this decision but through my motivated words they were convinced.Another problem we faced, arranging the participants. I decided to use mike to announce the news of clothes, education and place rather than announcing the program name or details so that they feel more interested to attend. Finally this program has been successfully done with 120 participants in 3 different areas.

I have learned the true form of leadership capability from this program. I witnessed the way motivation for achieving something, an open mind to co-operate and help others and believing oneself develop the leadership capabilities. I have learned more about my ability and personality which has strengthened my confidence. I was able to figure out my motivations for working hard, skills and adaptation capability which is very significant for a leader. I also realized that leaders not always consistently emerge based on their strengths it also can and should be situational, depending on the needs of the team.

Leadership style is very diverse form. From the experience of the program and previous experience I will identify my leadership style both as an authoritative and an affiliative.But still I need to build up other leadership styles for more long-term leadership success with every circumstances because the great leaders choose their leadership style with a calculated analysis of the matter at hand,the end oal and the best tool for certain job.

I am much confident about my capacity and ability to develop the community and bring a change within it. My community is facing many problems which still need to solve. My first focus on the education of children and eradicating chronic poverty and secondly ensuring the empowerment of women.I have the confident and believe which is the key to bring a change in the community. My leadership ability which I have used before will help me to build up the changing structure though I want to develop my leadership skill more. I have more than two years' experience working in communities, organizations and institutions with multi-cultural communities, this experience is my commodity to serve the community more and bring the change. My adaptation capability within different circumstances one my major strength, which is very important to work hard.

In a conclusion I would say the great leaders never born great, they grow great and Global UGRAD will be my steps to grow great.

Thanks in advance. Any suggestions are appreciated.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,017 2713  
Dec 27, 2016   #2
Shamsher, your essay does too much telling without justification. You need to beef up your essay with actual examples of the development of your leadership skills, your capacity to create change, and what you learned about yourself as a person. These criteria all have one thing in common, that is that you need to offer anecdotes along with your explanations or beliefs regarding your skills. Otherwise, these are empty claims that don't really offer the reviewer a chance to analyze these character traits as you claim to possess them. My advice is that you adjust your introduction paragraph so that you can have more space on the page to allow for character development for each criteria in the essay. Right now, the essay is strong in terms of literal explanations, but lack the logic that examples contain.
rnsnz18 10 / 33 4  
Dec 27, 2016   #3
@Shamsher sing
I believe you are applying for College?, I'm doing it too so i'm not an expert in these things, but I hope my advices can help you.

The service you did of dsitributing clothes is really impressive and I think you should deepen on it. You say that the clothes were given to the adults willing to participate on your educate program, but what that educate program was?, talk a little bit more about your project and the impact it had in the community of "Shariatpur" .

You also say that you motivated your teammates with your words, maybe you could emphasize how the things you've done or said made them follow you and then what impact these had, this can approach more the quote of ronald reagan "gets the people to do the greatest things".

In your thrid paragraph you re-state the leadership style prompt, I would suggest to not approach this thing like if they ask leadership style then say: " my leadership style is..." but better tie your leadershipe style with the story, and not mention the words "leadership style", in fact you do describe some of these things on the first paragraph, perhaps you could try to match the things you said in the third paragraph with the abilites you show on your project.

I hope this can be helpful.
OP Shamsher sing 3 / 9  
Dec 27, 2016   #4
Thanks Holt and rnsnz18. I really appreciate your advice, I will definitely work on it. Um [b]Holt[b]would please explain a little bit more about your statement. Yes I did understand but I want more suggestions from you specially for the 2nd paragraph where I have to state what I have learned about myself, my capacity to create change etc. It will be very helpful for me as this is my last chance for global UGRAD. I don't wanna loose.
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,017 2713  
Dec 27, 2016   #5
When you explain your leadership skills and how it was developed, you can consider the first project that you worked on with the organization. What mistakes did you make and why did they occur? Were these leadership related? If it is, then consider showing the reviewer how your leadership style evolved from there. That way you can show a logical progression of your leadership skills. Offer at least 2 examples in that paragraph. The bad leadership style and then the improved and successful leadership skill that you developed for use in the next activity. That way you do not need to use a specific term for your leadership skill or style. All that is obvious to the reviewer, is that you improved your leadership style over time. Your developed leadership style equates to what you learned about yourself and your capacity to create change from failure.

How many days do you have to develop this essay? Is there a chance that I can work closely with you in the development of the essay? It shouldn't take more than 2 or 3 partial revisions at the most, depending upon what kind of essay you deliver with your next revision. I am willing to work closely with you if you would want that. Just make sure to call my attention to your essay when you post the revision so that I will remember to check into it.
OP Shamsher sing 3 / 9  
Dec 27, 2016   #6
Thank you so much for your concern Holt . I would love to have you work with me. And there is only 2 days left. All other documents are ready to go. Only this one is left. But holt can I have your all consultation through mail? You know it's bit uneasy for me to disclosing everything here. I am very much happy to have your concern
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,017 2713  
Dec 27, 2016   #7
Tkay, just blank out the information that you are uneasy with sharing in public. I know how conscious one can get sharing information on a public platform but that is how this forum works. I am even bound by privacy rules which is why I cannot share my email address with you in as much as I want to. Since we still have 2 days to work on the essay, I am confident that we have more than enough time to perfect it. If you have any questions, just post them on the forum and I will automatically get back to you. While there may be a slight delay in my response at times, due to the holidays, rest assured that I will respond to you as soon as I can. For now, work on the revisions I suggested and get back to me here. I will make sure to keep an eye out for your post so that we won't waste any time when it comes to editing your essay. There won't be too much work to be done anymore if you follow all the instructions that I provided to you in the previous threads of this topic.
OP Shamsher sing 3 / 9  
Dec 27, 2016   #8
Thanks for your help. I will surely come soon with edited one
OP Shamsher sing 3 / 9  
Dec 27, 2016   #9
Here i came up the revised version. I tried to concentrate on your points. Maybe its not good enough , because i feel like my head is empty now. Anyway looking forward for your suggestion from this last edit.Thanks Mary.

It was the last winter in December 2015 when most of my classmates ...

... I was responsible for the co-ordination and provision of the program.It was a tough task to conduct this. Adjusting time with the participants was the first barrier as most of them were farmer ...

... From this instance I have developed myself and made my mind more open to interact and build up the more ability to adapt situation. I have showed some excellence like solving the instant problem, working together, giving preference to everyone's decision moreover hard work for achieving the goal in my second work with this organization and most of these excellence was absent in my first work.So during the second work even my instinct was another part of my team's motivation to achieve the goal. Coping up with every situation, believing myself and working hard to motivate others is my strength to lead others. ...
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,017 2713  
Dec 27, 2016   #10
Shamsher, the essay is good in terms of content. It covers all of the required points and now offers a clear idea regarding how you developed the skills. The problem we are facing now has to do with the formatting of your essay. It is too tight on the page which tells me that the various topics for discussion are bunched up into only 2 paragraphs. You will have the reviewer experiencing reader fatigue before he finishes reading the first paragraph. So I need you to review the essay and create paragraph breaks each time a new topic is discussed in the essay. That way we space out the conversation and allow the eyes of the reviewer to breathe as he moves along the essay. Once you get the paragraph spacing right, you can consider the essay finalized and ready for submission.
OP Shamsher sing 3 / 9  
Dec 27, 2016   #11
Finally feeling peace at least...I thought you might become angry and will say " you came up with the same thing" and yes it's just a quick draft to show you. I will make some paras considering the certain topics. You can suggest some topics considering this writing. That will help me with my further work. Thanks Mary , I hope it's your real name.


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