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Continuous development and networking with MasterCard Foundation Scholars


inok26 5 / 16  
Nov 1, 2017   #1
Please I need help with checking to see if I have answered the prompts, if there are any grammatical mistakes and if there are any lines that does tally with whats being asked. I am constrained to 250 words for each essay. Thanks for your help.

Q: We want Mastercard scholars to continue to learn and develop as individuals at the University of Edinburgh. How would this learning experience be transformative for you?

networking challenges



Answer:
As I strive to influence society, I find it challenging building effective relationships, expressing myself more articulately and managing people effectively. These are areas I hope to experience remarkable changes when offered this scholarship.

My expectations as a potential scholar regarding the learning experience are therefore high. I envisage that this would be an effective opportunity for me to develop and acquire valuable skills needed to drive development on my return home. I am especially keen on these areas; effective communication, professional networking, developing an open mind-set approach and challenging my leadership delivery abilities.

Participating in volunteering activities and work-based placements would be very apt in strengthening my communication skills. My proactive engagement with people of diverse backgrounds within these context is sure to provide feedbacks to help identify areas I would need to work more on.

Discussing issues amongst a rich blend of intellectuals from across Africa and the world; bothering on Africa and world development challenges, is sure to help in shaping a broader open mind-set and improve my team building skills.

Attending leadership retreats would be an avenue I'd leverage to practice my presentation skills by making presentations on topical issues affecting my home country. This skill would be highly needed when I engage with my community through the African Energy Advocacy Initiative.

To cap it all, achieving the prestigious Edinburgh Award in Transformative Leadership to prove my competency, would be the high point of my journey through Edinburgh. I greatly look forward to this.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4773  
Nov 1, 2017   #2
Ugbashi, we have a one essay per thread limitation here so I can only advice you as per the first posting that you made. You will need to start a new thread for the other essay if you want to have me advice you on the content of the second essay. Those are the rules of the forum so please follow them or risk having your account flagged. Thank you.

You have not accurately responded to the prompt because you have given a generalized comment in the essay. The approach to the response should be more university specific. You need to look up the University of Edinburgh in relation to the masters degree you hope to study there and then asses the university offerings and course curriculum. Look at the reasons why this would become a unique learning experience for you. What is it about the experience of studying at the university that would help to transform you from the person you are now, to the person you want to be? Only if you understand what is special about the university will you be able to explain how the learning experience can be transformative for you.
OP inok26 5 / 16  
Nov 1, 2017   #3
@Holt
I greatly appreciate your advise. I will do as you have said. I am really sorry about going against the rules. I am more enlightened now and as such won't do that again..

Thanks


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