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How will you contribute to our pledge to access, equity, and inclusion?


ripti 1 / 1  
Dec 24, 2021   #1
PROMPT:
An essential part of our mission is to foster diversity of thought throughout our wide breadth of curricular and co-curricular activities in order to help develop students into global business leaders.


how will you contribute to our pledge of access, equity, and inclusion?



My life experiences with diversity, equity and inclusion include having lived in a small town of _____and then moving to ____ at age twelve, a fast-paced metropolitan city. Although I grew up with a variety of ideologies, skin colors, religious affiliations, socioeconomic-class statuses, educational levels, and personalities, I believe my diverse personal experiences will be a great contribution to the dynamic and international character of the student body at _____

I want to bring the culture of success and motivation I created with my soccer team into the business school. . As a high-schooler with a passion for sport, I formed a girls' soccer team at my school in response to the lack of female athletic offerings. My team worked hard and persevered to see great achievement-winning state and national championships, our achievements being published in newspapers as well as earning a scholarship from our school. This experience showed me that equity, inclusion, and diversity are not only beneficial for individuals but also for communities and generations to come. I hope to carry this inclusive mindset into _____

During my under graduation education, I participated in many co-curricular activities, particularly my contribution through Various clubs like ____ and ____. As a volunteer for the ____ program in my hometown, I helped disadvantaged communities through awareness camps, free medical camps and blood donation . As a volunteer in ______, we went to various schools in marginalized communities and teachers' workshops as substitute teachers to build English language competencies and confidence among these students. These experiences helped instill the values of "helping others " and showed me how to put others before myself.

I believe that diversity, equity, and inclusion lie at the heart of ____ mission. As a prospective student, I hope to contribute to these ideals by joining clubs and groups such as _____ and ______ where I can share my work experience as well as knowledge of ____. Additionally, I am passionate about what ____ club Stands for. In recognition of this, it will be my goal to commit myself to the club and share my experiences as _____.

After I graduate, I will work to serve as a mentor and resource for students, both current and alumni, who are looking to pursue their own careers in ____. I will contribute to the ___ and encourage active participation in all of our programs.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,303 3989  
Dec 25, 2021   #2
There is a good sense of community and strong sense of civic mindedness in the application. Does it show a future leader in the making? Yes it does. Does it show a future global leader? Perhaps. The exposure of the student does not really play up that aspect of his volunteer and other co-curricular activities. There example of community diversity is weak due to the lack of specific race or ethnic mentions. Evidence of how a global mindset was developed by this exposure is needed.

Now, the student is well versed in leadership activities, but none of these relate to business. That is a problem when the essay being written is for admission to business school. It is important that the "global business leader" aspect of the prompt is addressed. Yes, sports brings a sense of leadership to the team captain and the team members. However, the mindset cannot be applied to business school as business leaders have a totally different mindset from a team captain. While the reference to sports should remain, it is important that the applicant also shows an early development of at least, a local business mindset in relation to the diversity discussion of the prompt. That way, a reference to a "global business leader" can be delivered. Sadly, the community service does show a bit of diversity, it is still not part of the "global business leader" mindset. Had this community service been in relation to fund raising activities and training of the low income members of the community, who come from a diverse background, then the community service would have been the strongest aspect of this essay.

The essay needs further development and editing, should go beyond the word maximum once it is revised for relevant content. This will require the student to clip the presentations for the team and community activities as it relates to the discussion. The pledge has been met in a basic sense. It needs to go deeper by remembering what the main topic of the discussion is, the development of a Global Business Leader.
OP ripti 1 / 1  
Dec 25, 2021   #3
@Holt

can you elaborate more on what you mean by "Had this community service been in relation to fundraising activities and training of low-income members of the community who come from a diverse background" it was but I am not sure how to add that to my essay. Should I add a particular incident? and how do I turn that into addressing the Global Business Leader aspect of the prompt?

Is this any better?

From a small town to a metropolitan city, moving to _____ and having experienced being an outsider within an environment that is completely different from the one I was used to, as a child was a very significant experience, which has contributed greatly to my diverse and dynamic character.

I have been a part of several processes that have advanced equity, inclusion, and diversity at my school and in our communities. It is really hard to overcome systemic barriers, especially since these systemic barriers are often invisible to many. One of the biggest structural and systematic changes I was part of was during high school where I came to know we didn't have a women's team for any sport. As a high-schooler who had a knack for sports, I formed a girls' soccer team at my school to fill this gap. With not much support, it was hard to overcome the systematic and cultural barrier. We worked hard and pushed through from all the adversity to see great achievement-winning state and national championships, being published in newspapers, and earning scholarships. This experience showed me that equity, inclusion, and diversity are not only good for individuals but also for communities and generations to come.

My passion for equity is largely influenced by the systemic barriers I faced as a student, and this drive to improve equity for marginalized groups continues onto my involvement in many co-curricular activities, particularly my contribution through the _______, where I was instilled values like "not me but you", which enabled me to be a good leader and similarly in ______, where I realized that as people, we have a broader responsibility than what is generally perceived to be.

With my experience of working at a diverse corporation, I have become more culturally engaged. Being one of the few South Asians in our team, I have witnessed how multicultural environments can make you a better team player and leader.

I believe that diversity, equity, and inclusion lie at the heart of ___ mission. As a prospective student, I hope to contribute to these ideals by joining clubs and groups such as ______ and _____ where I can share my experience as well as knowledge. Additionally, I am passionate about what _____ at ________ stands for. In recognition of this, it will be my goal to commit myself to the club and share my experiences as a female entrepreneur.

After I graduate, I will work to serve as a mentor and resource for students, both current and alumni, who are looking to pursue their careers in business. I will contribute to the ___ Alumni Association and encourage active participation in all of our programs. Moreover, after I earn my degree, I believe opportunities will arise for me to affect the world in a global aspect, I will work diligently to ensure that the people around me won't have to face the sort of challenges that I've faced.

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