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Contributing to the development of my country and having her benefit from my study


mcbarrister 1 / - 1  
Feb 24, 2017   #1

Benefit to Home Country, Commonwealth Shared Scholarships



Hello guys, this is my input for Benefits my country is likely to derive from my study ( MA Human Rights)on my return, kindly read and help with corrections or comments :)

PROMPT:
You are advised in your statement to describe how your plan of study or research relates to development in your sector and country. Please say how, on your return, you will apply your new skills and qualifications, and what outcomes you will hope to achieve. This could usefully be related to a national development priority or objective. Please also suggest how the impact of the potential benefits of your work might be measured.


On numerous occasions I have dedicated time and effort in seeing improvement in the lives of others because this brings me fulfillment. In Senior High School I used to offer free tuition to my mates and juniors who needed help in their studies. During my undergraduate studies I was instrumental in advocating for electing rather than appointing hall executives. I also led advocacy for better water supply to the hall to solve the headache of students. I led a campaign for an upward adjustment of National Service allowance for Ghanaian graduates undertaking national service last year. Coming from this background, contributing to the development of my country and having her benefit from my study if I am awarded the scholarship, is of prime interest to me.

For many Ghanaians, Human Rights issues are for developed countries because they don't have many developmental needs to worry about. It is argued that for a country that is dealing with issues like poverty, unemployment, corruption and declining economic growth and energy crises, Human rights are not important. This perception leaves most Ghanaians and Africans at large least concerned about Human rights. However, development is only enhanced in a human rights friendly environment. We cannot dichotomise Human Rights and development because they move together.

When people who are supposed to protect the rights of others are the very ones abusing others' right, there is great cause to worry. This is the case in many African countries where the police and army, having been influence politically, abuse the rights of civilians. Recent report from the Ghana Health Service for example indicates that teachers are responsible for 5.9% of teenage pregnancy. The survey revealed that teachers had impregnated 301 females they teach. Every now and then, pastors are reported to have defrauded or abused a church member of members in one way or the other. And the sad reality is that these things go on without offenders facing serious punitive measures as deterrence to others. The jaw dropping negative reports keep trickling in here and there and there is need for these to be checked to ensure the development of all, especially women, children and other minorities.

I am a vibrant member of Amnesty International and would continue to be active and do more with the knowledge and experience from my study. This will enhance Amnesty's objective of building a more human right friendly environment. I owe the country this duty and I see myself becoming a more vocal Human rights activist following my studies.

To educate the youth and get more people involved in the cause of Human Rights, I started a local Human rights group in my local community last year. Upon return from my studies if I am awarded this scholarship, I will make use of my group as a strong tool for Human Right advocacy by empowering group members through Human Rights Education. We will work together in organizing Human Rights education events in one senior high school every three months. My group will also cooperate with relevant and identifiable groups like the media and police to inform, protect and promote the rights of vulnerable citizens, especially women and children.

I will make use of tools like research, policy proposals, article publications, press releases/conferences etc. to increase public awareness on Human Rights abuses and mobilize public outcry against abuse of Human Right. My focus will be in these three areas; preventing violence against girls and women in Ghana, advocating for equal opportunities for women and girls and seeing that all children, especially those from rural areas get a good education. These are things I really want to do, and It would be glad to monitor my progress and impact or influence after the award. To this end, I am willing to submit progress reports once every six months.

Aside these things I will be willing to collaborate with individuals or organizations that have a human rights agenda, so that together, being a voice for the voiceless, the world can be a better place.
sehatdinati 7 / 21 5  
Feb 24, 2017   #2
@mcbarrister

Stephen, this is superb.

But, if I could suggest you, hopefully this is useful.
1. I think you should explain directly paragraph 2 and 3 to you career plan, without explaining to detail. Maybe you can combine with next paragraphs. This is not an essay to tell them about our country current situation, but what we can contribute to that current situation. So, make it shorten and straight forward.

2. I found some confusing grammatical, maybe you can correct it.
3. I think you have elaborate your paragraph 6 which is refer to paragraph 1. You should focus on explaining that, instead of what you have done before. What I want to say is, be focus on the future from what you have done in the past.. I still don't see it in this essay.

Hopefully, you get this scholarship to fulfill your dreams, Stephen. Good luck!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Feb 24, 2017   #3
Stephen, there are two things that you have to do with this essay. The first is to delete the first paragraph of your essay. That is unnecessary information as it does not relate directly to your post graduate plans. There is no backstory necessary for this essay only future scenarios that you might be able to present. Then, you have to adjust the content of your essay to present the methods by which you will be able to assess the success of the programs that you will be implementing based upon the completed education that you received. What kind of changes do you hope to see and how do you plan on measuring the success of your projects? These measurements could be based upon the survey or monitoring of your group or through Amnesty International of certain government or organization based projects for the improvement of the people in your country. Whichever way you choose to monitor the program, you must explain how it will be done and what you will consider to be the passing success rate of your project.


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