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The country I did not belong. 2020 GKS-U PERSONAL STATEMENT SCHOLARSHIP


lylrose 1 / 3  
Aug 29, 2020   #1

my experiences



This is so frustrating. My thread is deleted yesterday. I don't know why. I just hope somebody can help me review my essay. English is also not my first language so there might be some grammar mistakes and error. Any advise and suggestion are welcomed. Thank you in advance.

Spending my childhood growing up in a country that I did not belong to was not as easy as it seems. Back in my school days, I woke up every morning feeling scared I might get bullied in school because of my appearance as I did not look the same with majority of people in that country.

As a result, I tried my best to learn their culture, language and even accents to sound like a native speaker to blend in well. Learning different cultures and adjusting have been a part of my life since I was young. The main reason I apply to this program is because I want to become one among many youths that can contribute to the development in my country and in the same time grow as a person while studying in a country that is rich in cultures and manners such as South Korea. I choose to study in South Korea because of my interest in Hangeul plus I also wanted to make our countries ties stronger. This motivates me to apply to this amazing scholarship.

I was born in A but raised in B since I was 2 years old until 18 years old. My father is a ... and he had his job there thus our whole family lived there until I finish my high school. Despite being an international student, my parent sent me to a public school from the beginning. In the public school, there is no diversity. Every student came from a similar background/ethnic and I always stand out being the odd one among my friends as we do not share the similar religion or even nationality. This is the reason why I am afraid of getting bullied and tried my best to master the language and learn deeper than other kid of my age to understand their cultures better.

Nevertheless, my parent gave me a lot of supports, advice and even listens to me when I had a hard time. They lift up my spirit for me to be a bright kid. With their help, I graduated primary school with an excellent achievement and continued to the secondary school. In my secondary school years, I have to come back to my home country every school holiday to attend tuitions to prepare for college entrance exam from here. Although I did not grow up in A, my parent takes me to A Embassy in B and registered every year for me to sit for A yearly exam there, so that is how I have high school results from both countries.

Being able to grow up in another country and see the different cultures make me love diversity. The biggest influence I ever had was when it was the time of the festival celebrations. The colorful traditional outfits that people wore are aesthetically pleasing to me since I was a child. As a result, I even joined the Drama Club in my secondary school to get involved with traditional costumes and accessories in the backstage. As a teenager, I am very committed to clothing and design and wanted to pursue this career when I get older. However, life does not always go as it is planned. The budget that my parents saved for me to go to university had to be spent on my grandparent's hospital bills. First, it was my grandfather that had to do an eye surgery and followed by my grandmother a few years later, as she has to be hospitalized for her illness. Due to the reasons, I have to surrender continuing my higher education studies in B and come back to my home country.

It was a crucial moment for us as a high school graduates, and everybody is busy with their next step but I was very lost and helpless as I cannot continue my study. On the other hand, I also have to understand my parent's conditions and help them out in any possible way. At that period, I regretted I did not study harder in high school before and promised myself to never repeat the same mistake twice. Months later, I found a free of charge Hospitality and Tourism school that will be opening soon in newspaper, so I registered there then went for the interview they held so that I can attend the school at that moment. As I was attending there, the curriculum was not as hard as I thought it would be, so I decided to take an extra class of language outside. That is when Korean language became more familiar in my life.

Gradually, I completed my Hospitality and Tourism course successfully, ranked at first in my major (with merit) thus I was suggested to do an internship in an international chain hotel by my teachers therefore I went for the interview again. After a few rounds of eliminations within selected candidates, they accepted me and that is how I started working for the very first time in my life. As I work, I still continue learning Korean language but this time, I paid for the language tuition fees since I started working and I wanted to help my parent too. That moment was also the first time I found out that I never quit learning Korean language and I am not tired at all to go to the Korean Language class even after standing for 8 hours at my work.

My life continue like this for one year when I suddenly get a call from one of my teachers informing me that I have been nominated for a scholarship to attend Associate Degree in China for 3 years. But in order to receive that, I have to sit for an entrance exam, consists of Mathematics and English. I decided to re-study my old books in order to pass the test but with a strong determination to change my situation, I passed the tests and was one of the chosen among hundreds of students applying. I tried to ask school office if I could change my major to Fashion related major but it was too late. Hence, I have to accept the way it is. However, after arrived, I met my second biggest challenge as I have to learn Chinese language. I admit it is one of the hardest languages in the world to learn. Some scholars already know the basic to Chinese language but I have to start from zero since I was busy learning Korean for the past few years.

It was very difficult and challenging for me because it was the first time I am in another country without my parents and the environment were very different from where I grew up too. I realized I had to get serious and make an effort in order to pass the Chinese language test. Back in high school, I used to be quite unmotivated to study but when I attend the classes there, I totally changed 180°. Not only academically but also behavior wise. Even my family noticed me changing and praised me for it. I concentrated on studying seriously. I noticed the studying environment there was also very different. Since most of the students there are scholar students, they are very competitive when it comes to studying and it encouraged me to follow their examples. This also motivates me to attend the Clothing and Textiles major in South Korea because their young generations are creative and active in producing ideas and have the ways of seeing fashion from a unique and different perspective so I believe I can learn a lot in that kind of surrounding.

Apart from that, throughout my three years of studying abroad, I also actively participated in cultural exchanging projects that are held in my school. Thanks to the experience, I learnt important tips on how to write calligraphy and the history behind it. I also participated in a few festivals showcasing my country's culture dances (AA dance, BB dance, etc..) to both local and foreign students. In order to accomplish that, I joined with friends from my country and we choreographed the dance together with a twist of modern dances. Although I am quite busy attending classes and doing assignments, I never skip out on opportunities like this as I love creating memories and gaining experiences while I am still a student.

I truly believe that my experiences of studying in China before have helped me to become more mature and responsible. Many asked me why South Korea instead of China? Although I will always be thankful for getting the opportunity to gain new knowledge and experiences while studying there, Clothing and Textiles major offered in Korea have far better curriculum in all of Asia and I have always wanted to use Korean language in my daily life as I enjoyed spending my golden time learning the language. Overall, the experiences of studying in a different country and learning languages also had awoken me to the fact that international ties between countries are really crucial not only for the benefits of current peoples but also for the future generations. No matter in which industry, communications are key point in achieving a mutual understandings. Thus, I will like to take this golden opportunity to create changes that can bring benefits to me and both countries in the near future.
mythuong13498 1 / 2  
Aug 29, 2020   #2
The phrase 'a free of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'
advice
tuitions

The verb 'pleasing' is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
OP lylrose 1 / 3  
Aug 30, 2020   #3
design

Thanks for the correction, I will amend it. Can you give me feedback on the essay as a whole? I really need to re-write it because the application dates are nearing.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4773  
Aug 30, 2020   #4
There is a major problem with your application. You already have a previous undergraduate degree and now you are getting another one. Try to justify that better in your essay? The essay is truly dramatic rather than academic in approach. I can sense you emotions in the writing, which is not good for your essay. Pull back on the emotions and be more professional / academic in your presentation. Focus on developing / justifying the reason why you are pursuing a second course as a part of your motivation to apply for the program. Connect the "country where I do not belong" to your motivation to belong somewhere, in this case, Korea. Less drama, more pondering about your future. Relate everything back to Korea whenever you can. Target a convincing argument regarding your new course of interest, why it is important that you do this, and how it relates to your interest in Korea or, can help you become a better professional with a second major degree. Discuss your degree of interest in a merged manner with your previous course and other relevant courses.
OP lylrose 1 / 3  
Aug 30, 2020   #5
@Holt

I can clearly see my mistakes now. Thank you for pointing out. But regarding the application, associate degree is not considered as a bachelor. It's earned between 2-3 years. So it's not a second degree. Associate degree is between secondary school and undergraduate.


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