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I create organization called Charity Youth, where I am the leader and life coach

zamzamii 2 / 2  
Oct 30, 2017   #1


Chevening is looking for individuals who will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer.

(minimum word count: 100 words, maximum word count: 500 words).

the leadership is responsible work and the best character that someone could have which isn't easy job in 2014 I create organization that called Charity Youth my position is leader and life coaching.it's organization that support the young girls who lost their hopes in education.

in my country ( somalia) people give the first upper hand to the male and women become the second one so my work is to give the young girls who cann't go to school or work so I motivate them encourage them tell them that they will be a mirror tomorrow for they're kids and they can help their future children about education background and their lifes so when they became adult their life wont be hard as they are facing now , and the people that I help is girls who are in their teenger and 20s and they are more than 100 girls and most of them they are in high school now.
feby 3 / 10  
Oct 30, 2017   #2
hey zamzamii,

my first suggestion for you is, you should take a look the example essay that the scholars are produced in this forum. your essay is not qualified to the Chevening because of the lack of information. you should explain in detail not in general. and also you must remember that are huge applicants apply for this scholarship, so you must catch the committee intentions for awarding this scholarship.

you should go deeper to search some information and take a look closely to see how the other applicants structure their essay.
good luck
Mohamed salah - / 1  
Oct 30, 2017   #3
I think you need to proofread this essay or to find some English expert who can help you to finish this essay because it has some grammatical mistakes such as "in 2014 I create" it should be " I created", "the people I help is" is should be " Are". And also you need to check the spelling words like you wrote cann't it should be can't
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,692 3497  
Oct 30, 2017   #4
Samsam, your intention for creating the organization Charity Youth is one of the strongest points of this essay. However, you do not accurately present the improvements that you have made in the lives of the people that your organization has helped. This essay cannot be a badly written 2 paragraph essay, which is what it is right now. This has to be a fully developed 5 paragraph essay with at least 250 words in it. If you can explain the results of the leadership and influencing activities of the organization, in which you had a direct hand in making it happen, Then you will have a competitive essay on hand. Focus on the problems in the country and then explain how you led a program of change in this area through your organization. Explain how you influenced the women to go to school and how successful this program has become under your leadership. The potential of this essay to showcase your ability to lead and influence on a community level is what makes it impressive even though it is technically a profession related leadership and influencing essay. There are instance when the community leadership can more than make up for the lack of professional presentation. This is one of those instances.
devpro 4 / 9 1  
Oct 30, 2017   #5
hey zamzamii,

Just wanted to add to the comments made by moderator. You have a strong central theme and can build a good essay around it. Start with what leadership means to you and then introduce the problems in your country that you would like to address through the organization you have established. Focus on why and how you choose to address these problems and then if you could provide one detailed example of your work influencing a teenage girl to make that commitment to education despite the challenges it would provide a nice narrative to the reviewer and therefore create the right impact that the essay requires.

Thanks and good luck!

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