Hi, I am new to this forum and I need help proofreading my essay for Chevening 2017/2018 scholarship application. I know I am late so I need help urgently. Thank you in advance to the ones who help! :')
NETWORKING QUESTION
Chevening is looking for individuals with strong networking skills, who will ...
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"A simple 'Hello' could lead to a million things." This stands true for me, as it has impacted my life in more ways than one, both personally and professionally as I strive to meet new people and connect.
Right after the end of my undergraduate studies, job opportunities that interests me were rather scarce. The jobs offered in the newspapers and websites were rather redundant and involved a routine of steps that sounded mundane and tedious to me. I wanted something challenging and unpredictable, something that is dynamic and ever changing with varying conditions and deals with natural environment. That was when a simple text to my lecturer whom I have been keeping in touch with revealed an opportunity and landed me my first and current job; a Coastal Engineer.
In my recent years working as an engineer under the tutelage of my supervisors, I have encountered situations that strengthens my belief in the latent possibilities hidden behind the right kind of networking. Job opportunities, troves of new knowledge and endless chances that aids me towards the goal I'm aiming for; I have learned that networking offers me opportunities and can help me to boost my potential in achieving higher levels of success in my life. I actively partake in seminars and events to increase my chances of meeting new people and build my network circles with the relevant parties and authorities in various fields whilst also maintaining contacts with my friends that are spread over a wide range of professions.
Hundreds of opportunities and chances simmer beneath them, waiting for the right time to emerge into my life. These opportunities come in various forms; job openings, a chance of meeting new people through friends, or even as simple as a message of shared information regarding an exhibition fair of postgraduate studies from my acquaintance that kindles a fire in me to further my studies and brought me to where I am today, applying for Chevening Scholarship for my Postgraduate studies.
There is never a loss in getting to know people, or learning from them, their views and differing experiences help to give me insights on the possibilities offered in life. "Learn from your past experiences and keep moving forward," this quote does not solely represent an individual as it can also be used to convey the importance of shared experiences conceived from other people I've met and connected with. Their experiences in their lives and wisdom are a valuable gold mine full of things I have yet to experience, and can contribute in my development as an individual and advancing in my chosen profession. That is one of my future goals as a Chevening awardee, to actively share the wealth of my experiences and my expectations for the future to a community that needs it. As a quote by Keith Ferrazzi goes, "The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity," and I will be more than generous to share my experiences.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Nadia, your networking skills are not clearly outlined in this essay. The fact that you got your job by chance through a text message does not prove you know how to network. Neither does the mere mention of you actively participating in seminars and training programs. These are indeed, networking activities. However, you do not classify how you use the activities to broaden your circle. I would advice you to consider presenting clearer examples of your networking skills. One method that you can do this by is if you would depict an incident in your professional life that had you scrambling to find contacts in other areas in order to enact a solution to your problem. The essay is very specific regarding the need for provided examples with regard to your networking skills. I suggest you use that opening as best as you can.
The start of your essay sounds more like you are offering personal definitions regarding the meaning of networking rather than aiming to show its importance in terms of one's completion of his work tasks, which should have been done by example rather than descriptive words. The conclusion has a strong message and your ideas as to how to share your future network is solid and useful to all the parties concerned. So you don't have a problem with the concluding aspect. It is just the first part of the essay that needs more work.
