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I dealt with gender discrimination while growing up in my traditional Vietnamese family.


hanhnguyenngx 2 / 2  
Sep 28, 2016   #1
#4: Reflect on a time when you challenged a believe or idea, what prompted you to act?

I dealt with gender discrimination while growing up in my traditional Vietnamese family. No matter what have I done, I was judged by other male members.

This discrimination started when I was born being a girl. My mother gave birth to my sister first and on the second kid, my family expected that I was a boy. Unfortunately, I'm not. So my family became the only family who has 2 girls when others have at least one boy as their child. The way they looked at our family was so scornful that sometimes I feel ashamed about myself. No matter how hard I tried to show them the sexism, it was ignored. With them, girls couldn't do anything for her family, when they grow up, they just get married and give them all to their husband.

At family meals, the women served the men. It was frustrating because no matter how much I was interested in or contributing to a conversation, I'd have to serve the food, or clear the table, or set the table, or do the dishes. My male cousins were never asked to help, which make me feel offensive.

The struggle also came from my father; he always thinks he is the dominator of the house and every decision must be made by him, even when they are wrong, or right. I feel like I'm not being listened, and he also think that I couldn't do anything or become successful. However, I didn't listen to him, I tried my best to show that even being a girl, I still can do a good job even better than the boys in my family. Therefore, I passed the exam to get into a gifted school but the harder I try, the more he wants from me. All the things that I have done are not being appreciated and even worse, he doesn't spare a penny for my study just because I'm a girl.

Sometimes, I feel so invisible in my house, I do not have my own voice, no one listens to me. Every time I go back home from school, I am so stressful with tasks and works that I really want to share to other members in my family but no one is there for me, for a girl. I have been so hurting lately, but whenever I am out, I put on a mask, a mask with a big smile and a happy face, to show that I'm fine with everything, especially not appreciated for being a girl. I really need an escape, I want to go abroad to study, to prove that I could do better than other boys; also, I want to have a voice, to be heard.

Some people asked me whether I would change my decision again, get married and do the things that girls should do, but the answer will be a no, and forever a no. I'm proud of being myself- a girl, I've gone so far that I do not want to give up to find another boy as a place to depend on. Even though I'm not a guy, I least I know that I'm dependent, and I have my own decision, and one day, my decision will become appreciated.

TJLuschen - / 241 203  
Sep 28, 2016   #2
Hi, your essay does a great job of detailing the discrimination you have faced as a female. But I do not know that you answered the prompt's question - how did you challenge this belief? You say "I passed the exam to get into a gifted school", but that is only one short phrase in a long essay. I guess I would stress more how you have been challenging this belief in gender discrimination, and what happened to you after you challenged that. Maybe your main challenge to this tradition is in your head, but you can still explore how that has changed your outlook and your goals. You sort of have this, but having more detail would be better. You do have quite a few grammatical errors as well - I figured it was best to focus on the main ideas first.
liv_ryu 13 / 22 6  
Sep 29, 2016   #3
Hi hanhnguyenngx, here my suggestions about several grammatical errors:
1. be careful with 'what' as both conjunction and question word .
for example :

No matter what have I have done, I was judged by other male members.

2. tenses comprehension
This discrimination has been started whensince I was born being a girl.
3. making a simple statement

My mother gave birth to my sister first and on the second kid, my family expected that I was a boy. Unfortunately, I'm not.

I am the second child of my family expected to be a boy.
4. comma
So, my family became the only family who has 2 girls whenwhile others have at least onea boy as their childson .

Also, you should understand the task response and analyze the question.

Good Luck!


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