1. How did you choose your proposed course and institution?
Please provide any helpful feedback on my answer to the above question please which is written below;
While growing up I always love nature and its beauty and how essential it is to my life. We live on a farm with big trees and sugarcane surrounding our home. This is where the love and connection to the environment was birthed and therefore I decided to take up science in high school and is the pathway for doing Bachelor of Engineering [Honours] [Environmental]course at the University of Adelaide. This university is a global leader in the engineering and technology sector and it offers a major in renewable energy which will help me attain the required skills and knowledge to find sustainable solutions to meet the worlds rapidly increasing energy demands especially in my country Fiji. Statistics show that it is projected that Environmental Engineers will grow by 3% from 2019 to 2029 showing the demand for the profession is on the rise due to the rapid increase in energy demand worldwide. Additionally, based on the United ESCAP2017 report on gender the environment and sustainable development in the Asia and Pacific women, women are universally underrepresented in the energy sector. Therefore, as a female, I would like to contribute in closing this gap and to represent and be the voice for women.
My second field of interest is Bachelor of Aviation [Flying] at the University of New South Wales. Statistics show that only 3% of pilots worldwide are women. Again, I would like to be a role model to young girls and to be an inspiration to any woman of any age especially that there is nothing by nature a man possesses that makes him inherently more capable of flying a plane than women, especially in my country. The UNSW School of Aviation has led academic learning and flight training and research at the university level in the regions of Australia for more than two decades with management and staffs who are highly experienced with their respective flying fields. Many of its graduates hold significant roles in major airlines and aviation companies, which I aspire to be.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,535 3447
Your course choices are based mostly on researched data. That means, the explanation lacks passion and true interest based on a properly developed interest or early skills development. You are focused on filling an employment need for female representation more than actually having a believable and verifiable dream or ambition to work in either field. Sure statistics and job opportunities in particular fields of STEM, specially for women, are opening up. However, these are opening to women with a true passion and desire to be trailblazers in that field. There is no sense of that in your essay. Beyond researched information, the essay presents no passionate reasons, aspirations, ambitions, or references that would ensure you would complete either course of your choice as a student in Australia.
I get this input and I think you will find it helpful as well.
The question is asking you to justify the relevance of the course you have chosen and the university curriculum with your current professional skills, required theoretical and practical skills advancement, and future professional plans