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Department of Energy Resources Engineering - KGSP/scholarship. Personal Statement


iamrmk 1 / -  
Sep 20, 2018   #1
Deadline:27 of September! Please Help! It is my first time writing about myself. Can you check everything?? It would be amazing if someone will check my grammar and the meaning and everything. ( Department of Energy Resources Engineering)

Nature and Human

I want to become a person who will make a changes in the life of millions. For pursuing this dream I have to get high level education. I think that educational development in Korea would make an environment for me to thrive. Energy resources engineering is a field where people can create a better world and better future.Tajikistan has many energy resources but it is not used in a right way. I want to change it. South Korea is a great example how 3rd world country improved to an economical giant. And the key of rising is education . I want Tajikistan become like this. If Tajikistan will be able to use all resources that God gave to this land, it would be a miracle.

I am such a person who cannot just go with flow and wait for something to change. I prefer to discover new things and do researches myself. Maybe that is because I was raised as an individual. My parents never forced me to do something. They never bear down on me for the excellent marks. I studied delightedly. Whenever I had achievements, my parents were so happy. I also were happy seeing them being proud of me. I loved school and till now I am thankful for the experience that I had at school, for the friends, for the everything. I participated in so many Olympiads and events that I feel I had a good school life. Right at school I gained a lot of dreams and goals. One of them is to become an engineer in the field of energy resources engineering. In 2015 when few pupils of our school were selected to participate in the show for workers in Rogun Hydroelectric Power Station,I was fortunate to be among them. When we were at power plant, I was very impressed. I was walking around and asking workers about how station works and how they managed to build it. After that great occasion I started looking for a lot information about power stations and opened a new world to myself.

Once, when I will show the best cooperation between nature and human, on that day I will be satisfied. I am a curious person by nature. I like to learn about different countries. I learned the name of almost every capital of the world. My deep interest for Korea started at 8th grade at school. I saw a group of foreigners at school. After a while I heard how they were talking. I was interested in their language. And I asked some people where these pupils are come from. I found out that they are Koreans. I knew already about South Korea but not that much. On that day I read a lot about Korea. I was inspired of how in a record amount of time South Korea became so advanced. Finding out their culture ,I understood that there are lot of aspects that are similar to tajik culture.

In Tajikistan there is "Presidential Scholarship" program, in which only students with high grades are allowed to participate. In order to become a recipient of a scholarship, it is necessary to pass two rounds. I participated in 2014, but failed in the second round. I was upset, but I didn't lose my hope. So I tried myself in 2015. And I passed. From the seventh to the eleventh grade, I participated in the Olympiads of the Russian language. Every year I took places. But in 2016 I didn't take place. I told to myself that the 11th grade is the most important year, so I have a chance to fix everything. In 11th grade I didn't passed in city competition. But there were 0.1 point difference from the person who have passed. I thought that in the life there can be ups and downs , the important thing is not to give up. A month later we were told that commission decided that I have to participate in Republican Olympiad of Russian Language. But it was just a week before Olympiad. I have read 2 new russian grammar books in 4 days. In the day of Olympiad I was worried so much. After finishing essays and tests I thought that I didn't pass.In this time I was so sad. But tomorrow in evening my teacher called me and told me that I have passed and that I'm on the third place. When I heard this I screamed and started jumping.I was so happy.

When I was five years old my sister was engaged in dancing and she was a dancer in a "Padida". Since she had to look after me, i used to go with her to Padida. That is how I learned tajik national dances. I used to go there in the summer for about 9 years. Tajik national dances are amazing to watch. I also have interest in fencing . I used to practice fencing for 1 year. At school I was in piano club. Also attended chess club.
jeffreyj 3 / 5 1  
Sep 22, 2018   #2
I think you need to work on this essay not only grammar, you need to write in more matured and focused way.Start with your background on engineering subjects such as physics, math or projects....write the strong reasons to convince sponsor why you want this course and what are the benefits to you and Tajikistan.

Please , don't mention your failures or any other issues which are related to this course or scholarship.


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