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Describe your academic interests and explain how you see these interests shaping your future


jjaida09 1 / -  
Jan 23, 2019   #1

Business isn't scary



What do you want to be when you grow up, i've heard this question all my life and every time there was a different answer. a doctor a lawyer a speech pathologist a veterinarian when you grow up you realize what your true passion is and what really sparks your interest. As a child sometimes people can influence your decision and you go into your adult life not pursuing your dreams or even what makes you happy. And I never wanted that for myself. When I was in the 9th grade I Took an Academy class in marketing at my high school. At first I was really scared that I would fall behind in the class but once we started doing the activities and started learning the background knowledge of everything I could see myself doing this as a career. Marketing and business really sparked my interest from the numbers to logistics of it. To the creative parts of it like making posters and promoting events at my school. It also show me a lot of responsibility in my self because at the end of every semester I would have to throw events from start. Furthering on in the future I believe that I can grow as a person and grow in my career. Once I've been to college I really want to get to a place where I am financially secure that I can help others where I was and show them their Business isn't so scary in that a black girl from Miami could do it they Can to.

Holt [Contributor] - / 7,896 2171  
Jan 24, 2019   #2
Jaida, the essay does not make any sense. You are not really describing your academic interests in a manner that shows how you believe these interests can help shape your future. The essay comes across more as you just throwing around ideas, not really focusing on the prompt requirement. You are just trying to find a place to start the essay. I think, you should start your new response essay / statement with the following line:

When I was in the 9th grade I Took an Academy class in marketing at my high school.

Then clarify the following line because it doesn't really make that much sense to the reader, nor relate directly to the discussion requirement:

At first I was really scared that I would fall behind in the class but once we started doing the activities and started learning the background knowledge of everything I could see myself doing this as a career.

Answer the question: Why were you afraid of falling behind? Why did you see yourself doing this as your career? What other academic classes did you take which helped prepare you for this major? What makes you think, based on your academic interests, that you can be a success once you follow this career path?

Marketing and business really sparked my interest from the numbers to logistics of it.
Again, why?

These sentences I specifically picked out for you should be the basis of your new essay. The guide questions I provided should help you get on track towards properly responding to the prompt requirements. The responses you give should help you explain how these interests will help shape your future.
skizire - / 1  
Jan 24, 2019   #3
@jjaida09
Please ensure that you connect your future aspirations to your academic interests if the essay is to be more informative to the readers. For instance you may strike a balance between what you studied and what you really want to be in the next 5 years.


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