[Contributor] - / 7,896 2171
Jaida, the essay does not make any sense. You are not really describing your academic interests in a manner that shows how you believe these interests can help shape your future. The essay comes across more as you just throwing around ideas, not really focusing on the prompt requirement. You are just trying to find a place to start the essay. I think, you should start your new response essay / statement with the following line:
When I was in the 9th grade I Took an Academy class in marketing at my high school.
Then clarify the following line because it doesn't really make that much sense to the reader, nor relate directly to the discussion requirement:
At first I was really scared that I would fall behind in the class but once we started doing the activities and started learning the background knowledge of everything I could see myself doing this as a career.
Answer the question: Why were you afraid of falling behind? Why did you see yourself doing this as your career? What other academic classes did you take which helped prepare you for this major? What makes you think, based on your academic interests, that you can be a success once you follow this career path?
Marketing and business really sparked my interest from the numbers to logistics of it.
These sentences I specifically picked out for you should be the basis of your new essay. The guide questions I provided should help you get on track towards properly responding to the prompt requirements. The responses you give should help you explain how these interests will help shape your future.