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Describe the efforts you have undertaken so far to obtain information on your study options?


hunterSC 1 / 2  
Apr 8, 2018   #1

Australia Award Scholarship application



Ans.

I heard about Australia Award Scholarship (AAS) since 2008 when one of my campus colleagues got scholarship to Australia. Since then, I attracted to collect information related to this scholarship. In 2014, I have opportunity to attended the AAS presentation to obtain essential information. Then, I collected significant information about studying options through the AAS website and information CD. My first experience on AAS both long term and short-term application was in 2015.

When I failed in the first attempt, I must hunt more information. Then, I attended International Education Fair hosted by Universitas Nusa Cendana Kupang (UNDANA) in 2016. Through this event I obtained deepen information from representatives of Australian universities, AAS and the International Development Program (IDP). Additionally, I bought some books that help me to understand more about scholarship preparation. And I also regularly visit the website of Commonwealth Register of Institutions and Courses for Overseas Students (CRICOS) to find the most suitable course and institution.

After failing in the second attempt in 2016, I attended classes and scholarship hunter groups both to boost my spirit and to achieve my goals, namely; English class held by Fortuna course, private class of academic English held by Via Vallen PhD, class of Berburu Beasiswa ala Forum Akademia NTT (BBAF), class of Smart Learning Center Kupang (SLCK) and also Let's Talk community. Moreover, I joined social media groups including Australia Embassy pages that continuously provide important information. Then, in 2017, I decided to take TOEFL test held by UNDANA, I expected different result when I submit the application but I failed again. Even though, I already have gotten Letter of Conditional Offer from my favorite University. That conditional offer encourages me to keep in touch with university admission officers. Since I am not selected yet as shortlisted candidates, I used the moment to improve my application and review the whole processes to have a better preparation. This time I am ready to win AAS.

=thank you for helping me to improve my essay

FatemahEbrahimi 5 / 11  
Apr 9, 2018   #2
I haveheard about ...
Since then, I have been attracted to....
In 2014, I hadopportunity ...

Dear Roi,
I read trough your essay many times but I am still confused what you want form the essay. you know you did not provide any prompt and it is not clear whether it is personal statement or any kinds of other. please write down your prompt so we can help you better.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,324 3353  
Apr 13, 2018   #3
Rio, there are too many references to failure in this essay which makes it a very weak description essay. In addition to the failures, your grammar is also poor and does not show how you would be a good candidate for the course due to your improper presentations. Sadly, I am not allowed to revise your essay in terms of grammar correction so you will have to ask a native English speaker who is known to you to do that for you, or you could opt to hire professional help so that the best essay based upon your provided information can be developed. You should avoid discussing the failures that you experienced because that is not required information in the essay. Instead, build up and focus the discussion only on what you have done so far to ensure that you have considered all of your study options before you decided to settle on the AAS application. Note that instructions asks you to describe the efforts you have undertaken, there is no reference as to whether these efforts were successful or not. The reviewer just needs to be sure that you are applying for the right scholarship and that you have considered all possible options prior to your application. Justify why you believe that the AAS is the most proper choice for you, even though other options are available to you at this time.
OP hunterSC 1 / 2  
Apr 14, 2018   #4
Thanks for helping me @Holt.


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