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Describe how you plan to give back to your community after your grduation.



Ymun 3 / 4  
Nov 2, 2016   #1
Prompt: In 500 words or less, please describe how you plan to give back to your community and help fulfill the needs of your community after you've completed your education. How would your plan impact not only your immediate community, but also a broader one?

Tzu Chi Foundation, is an international humanitarian organization whose mission is to relieve the suffering of those in need, and create a better world for all. Tzu Chi Foundation not only delivers material aids to the needy but also is a strong believer and pioneer in preserving the environment in order to protect the mother earth. Having been part of the Foundation since I was nine years old, I have formed a personal commitment to the people I worked with and to the Tzu Chi Foundation as a whole. Through the activities organized by the Foundation, I have learned the balance of giving and receiving and the importance of environmental preservation.

After earning my bachelor degree, I will work together with the Tzu Chi Foundation to provide humanitarian aid to those in needs in our local communities as well as overseas communities. Although I am not able to participate in every disaster relief by showing up in the front line, I can contribute in the back through fundraising. As a college graduate with a degree in accounting and as a Certified Public Accountant (CPA), I will use my knowledge and experience to help organize fundraising events for the Foundation to raise charity fund for use in both local and oversea community for the needy. Besides organizing fundraising events, I will also provide financial advice to the Foundation. I will use my knowledge as a CPA to make sure all the fundraising events are organized in accordance to the local laws and regulations, as some fundraising events organized that are legal in other countries maybe illegal here in the United States.

Millions of individuals in the world are affected the damages human being has done to the environment such as physical waste like metal cabinets, plastics components and etc. Through the Foundation's "Recycle and Reuse" program worldwide, the Foundation managed to raise millions of dollars worldwide every year for its charity funds to help the needy. This program is an effective way in reducing the physical waste and at the same time protecting the environment. I will strongly encourage and push for this "Recycle and Reuse" program to the local community to raise awareness of environmental preservation and at the same time raise money to the charity funds to help the people in needs.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 16088  
Nov 2, 2016   #2
Mun, rather than introducing the foundation and the work that they do in the community, you should reverse the essay to instead present how your participation in the foundation will help the community. So you have been working with the foundation since you were nine. I expect that your volunteer activities there have evolved along with the maturity that comes with your age. Base your response upon that. I would also like you to consider a non profession related contribution that you can make. These can be in terms of actual volunteer work or even pro-bono services to those in need, all done through the foundation of course.

Your conclusion should circle back to the way that the work you will do for the foundation will help the community in general. It should not further discuss the activities of the foundation. Right now, the essay is focusing on the wrong topic. Your contribution to the community, whether within the foundation or outside of it, is the focal point of the prompt. So the focus of the essay, which is solely on the foundation and its activities, should be revised to reflect your sole participation in giving back to the community instead.


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