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faseeh 1 / -  
Apr 15, 2021   #1

personal statement for the exchange program

Hi everyone. I've written a personal statement for the USEFP undergraduate exchange program. I'd be really thankful if someone helps me out in rectifying my mistakes.

The points which we have to discuss in our statement:

Yourself in terms of interests and personality,
Your academic objectives,
Your goals in terms of your field of study and personal development,
The reasons you wish to pursue them in U.S.A., and the type of program you hope to pursue and how it relates to your interests and future objectives.

Here's my statement:
Fascinated by the different cultures and lifestyles all around the world, my desire to explore the world grew . The allure that the US has, actually having somebody who is not just another social media contact and experiencing their culture - I would trade in all for that.

My curiosity for the evolved technology, the integration of computer systems in smaller forms helped me step into the field. Aspiring to be truly outstanding, I have looked upon the available opportunities, for instance, this scholarship which can help investigate the enormity of the field and assist me enhance my skills to excel my performance and give something back to the community.

As a keen competitor, I have taken part in different scholarly and non-scholastic activities accomplishing numerous accreditation. My love for movies and series fascinated me to explore the world and different cultures. Besides, I am a vivid reader preferring adventurous and mysterious novels and also an active social worker often arranging captivating seminars and webinars.

The US being one of the pioneers in technology, learning their methods of working things out along with communicating with an unfamiliar culture would doubtlessly assist me in my own preparation. A chance to visit the US as a representative of Pakistan, having to depict the positive image of my country, I am almost certain I would be returning as a US envoy with more than trinkets and an experience of a lifetime to share back home.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,692 3498  
Apr 15, 2021   #2
The overall essay is extremely vague in reference. You need to be clearer in your presentation in terms of each prompt presentation. Your interests and personality for instance, should highlight your capacity as a future influencer and and leader in your Pakistani community. Remember that as an exchange student, your job is 2 fold, to influence the understanding of Pakistan in America and to champion the American point of view in Pakistan. These should come across in the depiction of your interests and personality.

Your academic objectives are unclear. Connect your objectives to a specific learning opportunity you hope to take advantage of during your time in the US. You do not portray yourself as a student who will greatly benefit from the opportunity to research and engage with an internationally diverse learning community in the United States. What special qualities as as a student and researcher can you bring to the country based on your interests? How would this be beneficial to the both countries in terms of information exchange? Consider these guide questions when revising the prompt to bring more clarity to the last 2 prompt discussion points as well.

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