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Difficult problematic subjects - Gates Millennium Scholarship


kerry2654 13 / 37 12  
Dec 11, 2015   #1
Gates Millennium Scholarship
Word Count: 309

Discuss the subjects in which you have had difficulty. What factors do you believe contributed to your difficulties? How have you dealt with them so they will not cause problems for you again? In what areas have you experienced the greatest improvement? What problem areas remain? (1000 words)

Confidence is a good and bad thing with academics. As school work came easily for me, I became confident and progressed in my achievements. From being in a gifted program in elementary school to taking honors classes in middle school to doing the same in high school. But it had a consequence: I relied on my confidence rather than adapting to the challenges. This consequence took its course through math. In 8th grade, I struggled with Accelerated Geometry yet never made a complete effort in trying to get a better grade. It was a difficult subject yet I never attempted to ask for help or put in more effort. I just accepted my grade. Though freshman year Algebra II was better. I still never asked for help. In 10th grade, I was still insecure in my full abilities with math. I failed Accelerated Pre-Calculus my sophomore year with an immature mindset. I slept in class, ignored the homework, and failed every test. I again accepted that I would never succeed in the class so I didn't study enough and work to my fullest ability. After failing the class, the first thing I did go into junior year was build my confidence with Pre-Calculus by beginning at regular then proving my work ethic and moving up to AP Prep. I progressed by learning how to mature as a student. To stop being immature and know the breadth of my abilities. When I went to AP Prep, I learned from my sophomore year mistakes by reaching out for help when I didn't understand, by doing the homework right away, and studying for quizzes and tests. I experienced the greatest improvement in my mindset toward math. Though it's a subject that will always challenge me, I learned not to give up or struggle in silence. Each test is encouragement to do better.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Dec 12, 2015   #2
Kerry, I don't think that your problem was confidence but rather, complacency. If you were confident in all your learning abilities then you would not have said that you relied on confidence instead of adapting to the challenges that faced you. You were so confident that you were one of the best students in your school previously that this confidence led to complacence. It was actually complacency and not confidence that was your downfall in this case.

All of the actions that you explained in the essay, from acceptance and laziness, are all results of complacency. If you were confident, then the minute that confidence was shaken, then you would have asked for help. However, a complacent person does not ask for help because he is unaware of the coming problem. You were so confident of your skills that you failed to see your problem areas before it was too late.

So, if you change the focus of the essay from over-confidence to complacency, that is something as simple as a word change, then you will see that the essay will flow better and be much improved.
smunozas23 2 / 5 1  
Dec 18, 2015   #3
You have a couple mistakes in your text such as the following:

Confidence is a good and bad thing with academics. Try to refer from using the word "thing" in your essay unless you can't come up with a specific word for what you are trying to convey to the reader and it is absolutely necessary. use a phrase such as" confidence in my academic career has been both beneficial and disadvantageous.:" instead.

Be a more careful in the way you word your essay.

Have a stronger ending and specify how far you've gone since failing pre-calculus and find examples in where you can persuade the reader you turned your weakness ( mathematics) into one of your strengths.
OP kerry2654 13 / 37 12  
Dec 19, 2015   #4
Thank you for help @smunozas23 and @vangiespen! I tried to expand more with this draft.

Gates Millennium Scholarship
Word Count: 387

Discuss the subjects in which you have had difficulty. What factors do you believe contributed to your difficulties? How have you dealt with them so they will not cause problems for you again? In what areas have you experienced the greatest improvement? What problem areas remain? (1000 words)

Though I excelled in math enough to advance a year ahead, I relied on a false sense of confidence to manage high grades. "Confidence" plus stubbornness prevented any effort to study, ask for help, and do my homework properly. I faced my insecurities in 8th grade with Accelerated Geometry. Its difficulty required extra effort yet I convinced myself that my abilities that placed me on a high honors level would be proven in the end. Both 6th grade Pre-Algebra and 7th grade Algebra began as a challenge, but overtime I improved without changing my habits. Mistaking complacency for confidence, I foolishly repeated such for another year; however, it resulted in no improvement thus a low grade. My immature mindset continued sophomore year in Accelerated Pre-Calculus. Believing that I would never succeed in the class, I never worked to my fullest ability. My insecurities focused more on what I couldn't do than what I could do so I gave up.

My goal after failing Accelerated Pre-Calculus was to build real confidence in math my junior year. Beginning at regular Pre-Calculus first semester, I focused on proving my work ethic. I reversed my sophomore year mistakes by applying better habits; I did my homework right away, studied well for quizzes and tests, and used my class time wisely. Approaching my teacher to request advancing to AP Prep was testament of my hard work.

AP Prep Pre-Calculus second semester expanded my open-mindedness toward the subject with its challenges. I progressed by learning how to mature as a student; I became engaged by taking detailed notes, asking my teacher and peers for guidance, and practicing with non-homework problems. Rather than reverting to my previous stubborn attitude, I adjusted thus I improved.

From Accelerated Geometry and Accelerated Pre-Calculus, I've realized that complacency kills. As I was so confident in my skills, I was unaware of my problem areas before it was too late and acceptance and laziness came as a result. With regular and AP Prep Pre-Calculus, I learned from my mistakes by adapting. Looking at everything I couldn't easily do as encouragement, I experimented with and implemented various studying skills. Though it's a subject that will always challenge me, I approach not only math, but all classes, with determination to succeed; not with high grades, but with insights to apply later.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Dec 19, 2015   #5
Kerry, this is definitely an essay that can be put into its final version. I hope you won't mind that I did that for you. It increased in word count to 428 but it is an increase that improved the content of your essay. Let me know if this version is something you can use as is, use as a template, or if you want to add anything more to it :-)

Though I excelled in Math enough to advance a year ahead, I relied on a false sense of confidence to help manage my high grades. "Confidence" plus stubbornness prevented any effort to further improve my study habits, ask for help, and do my homework properly. I began to face my academic weaknesses in the 8th grade with Accelerated Geometry. Its difficulty required extra effort on my part and yet I convinced myself that my abilities that had previously placed me at a high honors level would once again reveal itself in the end, that is not what happened..

Both 6th grade Pre-Algebra and 7th grade Algebra began as a challenge, but over time I improved without changing my habits. Mistaking complacency for confidence, I foolishly repeated the same cycle the next year. It resulted in no improvement and a low grade. My immature mindset continued well into my sophomore year in Accelerated Pre-Calculus. Believing that I would never succeed in the class, I never worked to my fullest ability. My insecurities focused more on what I couldn't do than what I could do so I gave up.

My goal after failing Accelerated Pre-Calculus was to build real confidence in my math abilities during my junior year. Beginning with regular Pre-Calculus, I focused on proving my work ethic. I reversed my sophomore year mistakes by applying better habits; I did my homework right away, studied well for quizzes and tests, and I used my class time wisely. Approaching my teacher to request advancing to AP Prep was the testament to my hard work.

AP Prep Pre-Calculus expanded my mind toward the subject with its challenges. I progressed by learning how to mature as a student; I became engaged by taking detailed notes, asking my teacher and peers for guidance, and honing my skills by doing practice tests during my off time. Rather than reverting to my previous stubborn attitude, I adjusted and showed continued improvement.

From Accelerated Geometry and Accelerated Pre-Calculus, I came to realize that complacency kills. As I was so confident in my skills, I was unaware of my problem areas before it was too late and acceptance and laziness came as a result. With regular and AP Prep Pre-Calculus, I learned from my mistakes by adapting. Looking at everything I couldn't easily do as encouragement. I experimented with and implemented various studying habits. Though it's a subject that will always challenge me, I approach not only Math, but all my classes, with a determination to succeed; not with high grades, but with insights to apply later.
OP kerry2654 13 / 37 12  
Jan 1, 2016   #6
@vangiespen I'm just now seeing this. Thank you so much for your help, this is a clearer version of what I've been meaning to say.
OP kerry2654 13 / 37 12  
Jan 13, 2016   #7
Gates Millennium Scholarship
Word Count: 446

Discuss the subjects in which you have had difficulty. What factors do you believe contributed to your difficulties? How have you dealt with them so they will not cause problems for you again? In what areas have you experienced the greatest improvement? What problem areas remain? (1000 words)

My sophomore year, I mistaken complacency for confidence; I foolishly convinced myself that my high honors abilities would prevail without effort needed. However, this resulted in no improvement and a low grade. In Accelerated Pre-Calculus, I never worked to my full potential as I believe I would never succeed. We began a chapter that I declared not suited for me; instead of simply asking for help, I detached myself from the class. I began spending the class period sleeping or on my phone, only paying attention two minutes before the bell. Though my teacher and my parents continually attempted to help, I let my insecurities guide me instead.

My goal after failing Accelerated Pre-Calculus was to build real confidence in my math abilities during my junior year. Beginning with regular Pre-Calculus, I focused on proving my work ethic. I reversed my sophomore year mistakes by applying better habits; I did my homework right away, studied well for quizzes and tests, and I used my class time wisely. Approaching my teacher to request advancing to AP Prep was the testament to my hard work.

AP Prep Pre-Calculus expanded my mind toward the subject with its challenges. I progressed by learning how to mature as a student; I became engaged by taking detailed notes, asking my teacher and peers for guidance, and honing my skills by doing practice tests during my off time. Rather than reverting to my previous stubborn attitude, I adjusted and showed continued improvement.

My immature mindset was also prevalent in French 3. Assuming that being a native French speaker was enough to pass the class, I forgoed my studies. I neglected my lack of french literacy skills by not paying enough attention in class. I also never practiced my vocabulary and verb conjugations while cramming shortly before for quizzes and tests. Though I dropped French as it couldn't fit my schedule, I accepted my issues with the language; I began speaking and texting my parents in French while asking them questions for clarifications.

From Accelerated Pre-Calculus and French 3, I came to realize that complacency kills. As I was so confident in my skills, I was unaware of my problem areas before it was too late and acceptance and laziness came as a result. With regular and AP Prep Pre-Calculus, I learned from my mistakes by adapting. Looking at everything I couldn't easily do as encouragement. I experimented with and implemented various studying habits. Though they're subjects that will always challenge me as I sometimes lack needed focus, I approach not only math and French, but all my classes, with a determination to succeed; not with high grades, but with insights to apply later.


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