My dream and greatest opportunity - being a good candidate for UGRAD

Hello everyone! I'm writing for apply the global UGRAD program. I need your help again, and would appreciate your comments and advice. Thank you so much!

//P.S. English is not my mother tongue.//

My dream and greatest opportunity

Why would you be a great participant in the Global UGRAD Program?

Because study aboard in the United State is one of my dreams. I was interested in study aboard since I was in high school, because study aboard is the great opportunity to see the world. Unfortunately, I didn't have a chance to fulfill it at that time. Differing from that time, Opportunity comes to me, called the Global UGRAD that can help me to fulfill my big dream.

First of all, I'm a person who enjoy meeting new people and learning different cultures. I would really appreciate to exchange cultures, languages and knowledge with people from all over the world in person. Furthermore, I like talking and sharing experiences with other people. I have a blog on Wordpress that I write for sharing my own experiences about traveling and volunteering. I used to volunteer teaching English in a remote schools, located in Kalasin, Thailand when I got a break from university. Many kids in remote schools don't have a chance to get decent education. I attended this project in order to help them by teaching some basic English skills like speaking and writing.

At this moment, I'm currently studying at faculty of science, department of biology. The Global UGRAD program will help me widen my university interests, for example, marine biology, biological oceanography and ecology. I'm interested in these courses because of marine problems in my country, Thailand. One example of this is, Oil leak hit Phrao Bay Beach on the western coast of Koh Samet island in Rayong on 27 July 2013. This is devastating not only for the environment, but also for tourism. It can remain in the ecological food chain for many years and cause widespread if it aren't cleaned up by efficient methods. Moreover, The pollution from this accident could make people suffered after inhaling toxic emissions and hospitalized. After three years passed, you still smelled oil that sunk to the deep sea. As I have seen, there is still lack of advanced technology and proficient people to solve the problem. This is in contrast to the United State where have such great technologies that much more advanced than Thailand like advanced machines, methods and laboratories. Therefore, if I get a chance to study in the United State, I believe that I can learn and gain more knowledge in this field. And what I learn in the United State will help not only me, but also my country.

In conclusion, the Global UGRAD is such a great program for study aboard, and to see another side of my major in the United State in different styles of learning. Also, to experience different cultures, languages and educations. It would be great if I could be a part of the Global UGRAD program.

@mindmnd
let me try summarising the first paragraph
studying abroad has always been one of my greatest aspirations, unfortunately, I have never had an opportunity to fulfil it. having learnt about the global UGRAD, I believe given a chance it will assist me in enhancing my skills/prospect...

try relating something like that

Mind, if you want to make your essay stand out, you will have too find a way to make your interest in say , Marine Biology, as you gave in your example, have a connection with your semester abroad in the U.S. Most of the applications for this scholarship will delve on the candidates qualifications for the program and their abilities to be successful exchange student through cultural channels. What I would like you to try, is to present your difference from the other applicants. You can do this by showing where you currently stand in your educational background and how you hope to expand upon your education during that year in the U.S. From that point, you can explain how you will make an excellent participant in the program because you are not doing it for personal reasons but rather, for your desire to make a global difference in the world through the help of the program. It only seems fitting that you present your application in this manner owing to the background that you have presented as a student. You should also still present the volunteer work you have in this essay because that shows a socio-civic spirit that can help you succeed as an exchange student.