I have a dream of making commercialized In vitro meat a reality; NUS Scholarship/PS

Hi guys, I'm new here. Can I please ask for some comments on my personal statement? Are there any parts that I have to elaborate more on? Any inappropriate sentences? weird phrasing or order of sentences? As well as grammar and spelling mistakes. Thank you so much!

NUS : National University of Singapore
AJC : Anderson Junior College, my high school.
A*STAR : Agency for Science, Technology And Research, A government research agency.
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1. State in less than 2000 characters why you should be offered the NUS Scholarships. You may cite your most outstanding achievements, and/or elaborate on your aspirations and envisioned contributions to the University.

I have a dream of making commercialized In vitro meat a reality. Ever since I came across the idea of lab-grown meat in an article, I have been fascinated with its potential to solve issues like livestock environmental damage, and the cruel treatment of farm animals. This had prompted me to consider a career in biochemical research, to optimize the culture of In vitro meat.

During my years in junior college, I have had the opportunity to experience research first hand. Being a member of the AJC Science Club Project Eureka, I get to choose my own research topic, plan it and execute it with guidance from my teacher mentors. I was also fortunate to be able to participate in an internship at Bioprocessing Technology Institute, A*STAR, where I was attached to a research mentor and assisted him in carrying out a research project. I thoroughly enjoyed the process of exploring new concepts and learning new skills during my research. These experiences have reinforced my understanding and interest in research, and I knew research is the right career path for me.

Working towards my dream, I intend to take up the NUS Life Sciences Undergraduate Programme. NUS offers numerous special programmes that encompasses research in its curriculum, which would prepare me well for a career or graduate study in research. Having gone through a H3 Biodiversity module at NUS, I understand the rigour of the curriculum and I believe that with my passion for the sciences, I would be able to overcome all challenges and excel. My passion for research would allow me to contribute to the vibrant research culture in NUS.

I think you've done a good job. The ideas are presented logically and clearly. Only thing I wish you to improve on is the introduction;


Here I guess you can be a little more descriptive, as well as creative in presenting your case. I didn't check whether you have already met the required word count. If you have some allowance, then add a few lines to enhance its effect.

Thanks for the advice! Would it be better if I add a short personal recount in the introduction? Maybe my encounters with science in my childhood? Thanks!