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The Dutch and Mexican culture - Personal Statement for GKS Undergraduate scholarship


NaomiAcosta2121 1 / 1  
Sep 21, 2020   #1
Hello everyone, my name is Naomi Acosta and I'm applying for the KGSP 2021 through the embassy track to study design at undergraduate level. Below is my personal statement for the scholarship. I hope to hear your opinions regarding my essays, I would really appreciate all your constructive feedback. Thank you all. :)

Personal Statement:



I was born in Toluca, Mexico to two hard working parents along with one older brother and one younger sister. Since a very young age I came to understand the value of hard work and education through my parents, who have worked their whole lives in order to provide for our family. My father worked one hour away from home, so the only moments I saw him was a few hours during the afternoon, and, during those few hours we had, we would spend them coloring books and drawing together. It was then that my passion for drawing began.

I have grown to believe that there is no such thing as enough education. It is through education that we can keep growing and achieve bigger and better things. Since elementary school, my parents taught me the value of education and from that I have learned to take everything I do seriously and to put in all of my efforts in whatever I do. Few are the solid memories that I remember of elementary school. However, there is one aspect which I can still vividly recall, the fact that the education in my elementary school was solely focused on subjects regarding mathematics and sciences. During that period, I was solely focused on excelling in both areas, because I believed they would be my only road to success later on in life. But that belief caused me to start ignoring what I really liked doing; drawing and designing, and to think of it as something no more than a hobby.

However at the age of 12, due to my father's job, my family and I moved to The Hague, the Netherlands, bringing about the biggest change to my life so far. The education offered in The Netherlands, compared to the one in Mexico, had a wider variety of subjects focusing on different areas of study. Thus, introducing me to the subjects of Product Design and Art. It was through these subjects that I realized that what intrigued me the most about designing was not just the drawing and designing techniques, visual aesthetics or the technology that can be used, but the practical application it has in real life. Designing allows me to target a person's needs and solve it with creativity and innovation in order to create a product that fills the person's necessities. Moreover, through the knowledge I gained in my product design and art classes over the course of 4 years, I developed a creative, analytical and flexible way of thinking, and, designing became part of my daily life. Instead of lingering over hardships and problems, I began to think of different ways in which the problem can be solved.

The International School of the Hague, and INEDIB later on, also introduced me to a variety of extra-curricular and social service activities. This helped me realize that, as a member of my generation, it is my duty and responsibility to become an active member of society in order to help change the world for the better. I began to enroll in many extra-curricular and social service programs, and received awards such as:

·Mother Tongue program (ISH, 2015-2017)
·Joining the junior varsity field hockey school team (ISH, 2013-2015)
·Participating in the Model United Nations as an admin (2016) and later on as delegate (ISH, 2019)
·Participating in fundraisers such as Walk for Water and Walk of Hope (ISH, 2013-2016)
·Participating in the academic programme "Challenger Programme" (ISH, 2013-2014)
·Participating in the Basic Life Support course given by Taskforce QRS Leinden (ISH, 2017)
·Raised funds to donate to the "Great Barrier Reef Foundation" for the conservation of the Great Barrier Reef in Australia (ISH, 2016)
·Taking part in "Club de Tareas" (Homework club) where we tutored elementary students from rural areas (INEDIB, 2018)
·Perfect punctuality award (ISH, 2015-2016)

Enrolling, and excelling, in extra-curricular and social service programs has enhanced my ability to engage in an active role in helping improve the schools I've attended as well as the community I have lived in. All these learning experiences have not only challenged my work-ethics but have also allowed me to gain a vast amount of knowledge that can be applied to different situations and environments.

I have two big motivations for which I apply for this scholarship: my family and education. Thanks to all the different experiences I have had, I have come to learn that success is triumphing over hardships, willing to throw myself over anything and everything in order to be able achieve the best for me my family and I. It has never been easy for my parents to raise three children. Seeing my father leave at 6 am every morning and come back at 7 pm, with an exhausted yet happy face. Seeing my mother switching between her work and taking care of us every day made me wonder, why do they work so hard every day? It wasn't until I grew up that I understood that the reason why they worked so hard was for us to live in a better environment. Since then, my parents became my biggest motivation in everything I do. Why should I just sit back and enjoy the benefits of my parents' hard work? My biggest hope is that, with this scholarship, I will be able to use it to further pursue quality education in design, instead of being a financial burden to my family and worrying everyday about economically helping my parents, who would have to pay for two universities in the near future. I strongly believe that receiving this scholarship will be an investment into myself for my family as I will be giving it my all in order to excel in the career that I have chosen.

Second of all, my passion for designing and education eventually led me to South Korea. After finishing high school my main drive to study design was my desire to learn how to create products that would not only be aesthetically pleasing but that can bring a sensation of comfortability and enjoyment while using them. It was during my research for information about universities and different careers that I came across an article, which spiked my interest, titled "Humanization Design of South Korean Product and Its Approach" by He Sun and Ling Wang. For a while I was intrigued by the increased popularity of the Korean design and manufacturing industry and its products, but I lacked information as to why and how it happened. The previous article gave me one of the best insights and explanation regarding the Korean design industry, and, after having finished the article I realised that the Korean design industries where applying what I wanted to learn, the application of: humanization design, cultural design and emotional design. South Korea has one of the best educational systems in the world, not only that, but the country is highly known for having the perfect blend between tradition and modernity, being known as a leader of modern technology and innovation while still preserving its traditional culture.

I am very grateful for the opportunities that I have had in my life, and I do not regret the choices I have made through those opportunities. I have lived a very unique life, learning a vast number of lessons along the way. I have had the opportunity to study abroad, exposing me to new cultures and learning how to adapt in a way that was accepted by those cultures. I have had the opportunity to truly live in two very different cultures, the Dutch and Mexican culture, and learned the best from both of them and incorporated it to my way of thinking. Due to the opportunities I have had, and the lessons I have learned throughout my life, I am confident in saying that I am well-adapted and prepared to succeed and achieve the best results with the scholarship.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,801 4780  
Sep 22, 2020   #2
Do not just outline your accomplishments and achievements. You have to pick the most notable ones and discuss these. The accomplishments and achievements must support your character and conduct as a student and member of the community. It should attest to your maturity as an individual ready for college overseas, in a country where you do not know the language. It should highlight your ability to get along with people. Mere participation will not be enough in this case. Participation is like saying "I can do this, but I can't prove it". The reviewer will be looking for solid achievements and recognition. That means, you did not only participate, but you actually won as well. Otherwise, anybody can claim to be a participant. It is not impressive because it is not a recognized and verifiable accomplishment.

What do these programs mean? Why are these important to you? What does it prove? Why should participation be considered more important than actually awarded and recognized achievements? Your essay is too long for this presentation. You may want to consider shortening it. The most number of paragraphs for this essay is actually 5. This is 4 paragraphs too long. Say what you have to say quickly. The reviewer will not have enough time to read such a long essay. Make sure you make your point easily. Write an essay that will provide information to your reviewer with a mere scan of the essay. Don't make him work too hard to find the needed information. That is what the prompt requirements were for.
OP NaomiAcosta2121 1 / 1  
Sep 24, 2020   #3
@Holt
Thank you very much for your feedback, it was very helpful. I did not think about why participation is more important, so I have been working on that. I did not put it along with the prompt requirements but one of the introductions was to write it within two pages, but I will be looking over it again and cutting it short. Thank very much again!!


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