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I need to ease off my parents' burden; SCHOLARSHIP ESSAY


jenny1515 2 / 6  
Aug 18, 2013   #1
This is a scholarship essay. I was wondering to whom should I address this letter because our dean didnt gave us anything about to whom do we adress our letter of application.

Here is my essay/letter:

My name is Jenica , a 2nd year BS Medical Technology student of Manila Central University and I am applying for a scholarship in hope of becoming one of the fifteen Medical Technology students who will be granted of the 2013 Handog ng Safeguard Medtechs ng Kinabukasan Scholarship Program. The reason why I wanted to become a scholar is to help my parents to at least lift the heavy burden of overcoming our financial problems due to the expensive cost of education. My parents, Rosaldo and Mila , own a small business wherein they supply fruits and vegetables to restaurants. Even though they have a small but decent livelihood, my parents are still unable to cover all of our expenses. It is not easy for my parents to balance our financial and educational needs because along with me, I still have two other siblings who are currently studying; hence, making it difficult for my parents to pay for our daily expenses and monthly expenditures. My brother, James , is still a 4th year high school student in Colegio De Sta. Cecilia (a school in Valenzuela City). By the time he reaches college, his tuition fee would be higher than the present which would only result to another addition to the fees that our parents are going to pay and also adding to the higher demand and pressure for our parents to fulfil our financial needs. My sister, Kayla , is a 3rd year BS Architecture student in Adamson University who still have two years to study before she becomes an architect and honestly she has a very high amount of tuition fee and my parents are finding it hard to keep up with my sister's gradual increase of tuition fees and costly materials that she needed to buy. If my application will be hopefully granted then I would be able to at least lessen the financial worries of my parents for our education.

During my high school years in my Alma Mater, Colegio De Sta. Cecilia, I've received a lot of medals or awards and I also participated in numerous quiz bees and extracurricular activities. I was a consistent honour student and by the time graduated, I became the 2nd honourable mention. When I was a 2nd year student, I won 3rd place of Tagisan ng Talino (Battle of the Brains)Quiz Bee and later then I was picked to represent my school in the La Consolacion Inter School Quiz Show. I also won every year in the United Nations Quiz Bee, Bible Quiz Bee and many others. I became an officer in CAT and my position is Major G1 Attendance. I was also an active class officer and by the time I became a 4th year student, I was elected as the Environment Secretary in SCB or School Coordinating Body (which is also called as Student Government in other schools). I was also a varsity player in the sport of table tennis. I became a varsity when I was in 2nd year high school and became a consistent champion until I graduated. I am extremely determined to achieve my goals in life such as to become a Medical Technologist. I am also flexible when it comes to balancing extracurricular activities and academics. I always do what it takes and give all of my best to render an impressive result, and with determination, patience and hard work I know I would be able to accomplish my goals in life. If I am given the honour of being a part of this scholarship program I will do my best to maintain my grades and I promise that I will comply with the clause of requirements of this scholarship program. Thank you for considering my application. God Bless.

Sincerely yours,

madimolly 1 / 2 1  
Aug 18, 2013   #2
Very nice letter, well structured personal story with a well written conclusion to as why you deserve it. I would give you the scholarship :)
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Aug 18, 2013   #3
The reason why I wanted to become a scholar is to help my parents to at least lift the heavy burden of overcoming our financial problems due to the expensive cost of education.

The main objective of applying for this scholarship is to ease off my parents' burden on supporting my studies while fighting with their severe financial constraints.

My parents, Rosaldo and Mila , own a small business wherein they supply fruits and vegetables to restaurants.

My parents own a small business which supplies fruits and vegetables to restaurants.

Even though they have a small but decent livelihood, my parents are still unable to cover all of our expenses.

.... you need to tell this more convincingly. Tell them why they face financial issues. This is too vague :(
OP jenny1515 2 / 6  
Aug 19, 2013   #4
thanks a lot :)


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