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My education is a significant issue - Preview of KGSP Personal Statement.

tawfiqb 1 / 1  
Aug 26, 2019   #1
Hello, I am currently writing my KGSP application. I am done with my personal statement and I would appreciate it if someone could give me feedback..

Thank you in advance!

1. Your motivation with which you apply to this program;
2. Your relation and work experience in relation to KGSP;
3. Reason for studying in Korea;
4. Any other aspects of your background and interests which may help us evaluate your aptitude and passion for graduate
study or research.

no second chance

Life is a one-time path and doesn't give anyone a second chance, this is a philosophy we all have been learning and accepting through our journey of life. Every decision we make and every option we choose very much describes how our lives can be spent. And if it is a question of what path of education and career we should take, there should be a lot of thinking on how we want to have our future by that.

In my high school, there was a course called Information and Communication Technology in which I learned about computers, software, how they work and how they are programmed. I would say that I was good enough to excel on those topics and found them very fascinating. I had a wish to study computer science or software engineering since then. As I grew up in a world full of technological advancements all around, I desired to become a part of that. The internet, the World Wide Web, digital devices overwhelmed me deeply. And I wish to know the trick of magic that revolutionized the system and culture of the modern world. That is why I made up my mind to choose Computer Science or Software Engineering major in the future.

As I grew up, the cost of my education became a significant issue because my parents had to bear all the expenses of my studies; and for them, it was not easy at all. As I became more concerned about their financial sufferings, I tried my best to make up for the sacrifices they made for me and hardships they bore for me. Then, in 2015, I excelled in the secondary school standardized examination having a perfect grade point and topping at the whole school. This result led me to receive an honorary medal for excellence in the examination from the prime minister of Bangladesh along with full free tuition scholarships for the last two years of my high school. I felt like my hard work pay off the sufferings my parents had to go through. This is one of the biggest reasons why I decided to try obtaining my higher education with a scholarship as well and KGSP felt like a great opportunity for me.

When I first heard about KGSP I was preparing for entrance exams of the universities in my country. I fell just a little behind in the merit position in the entrance exam and ended up getting enrolled in the Mechanical Engineering program at a university. I tried to adapt myself in the studies I did not initially expect to get into and it caused huge trouble for me. Though the university I got into was one of the most reputed in my country; as the passion I made for I was somewhere else, I could not accommodate myself with the course at all. Because in my mind, giving up my passion seemed very difficult and for this reason, I could not concentrate on my studies either. Soon after that when I found about KGSP, I realized that I still have some options left and I can give myself another chance to have the future I very much wanted. And I believe KGSP is the most suitable chance I can offer myself to acquire my desired goal.

I am a person who is very enthusiastic about exploring and taste all kinds of interesting things to do around the countries of the world and I must say that I found Korea as one of the best among them! But to understand the worldwide varieties of people and culture, language is considered the first barrier. Fortunately, I quiet enjoy experiencing diversity, because of which I sometimes used to learn the German language during high school. This is how, looking for varieties all around me, I came to know about Korea. Then I started listening to Korean music, watching movies, and television dramas; and because of them I gradually became a very big fan of the Korean entertainment industry. This led me to do more research about Korea, its people and environment, Korean foods, Korean culture and of course, its education system. And thus I learned about many things of South Korea and made it a wish to become a part of Korean milieu and culture by studying in Korea even before thinking about applying to KGSP.

In the year 2017, I started working for a non-profit organization called LIVE - Life Is Very Easy. I contributed to editing and researching a book of the same name published by the organization. The organization and the book both concentrate on people who believe themselves weaker than others and always in hesitation about whether they are capable of doing what they want to do, people who are depressed with their condition of life, or frustrated about underachievement, by helping them finding a way of their life or consulting them with their tough situations. I had to do a lot of research regarding the purposes and had to know about people's livelihood, general problems that they might be frustrated upon. I also talked with many people having difficulties through their lives, tried to understand what the different reasons are behind different problematic circumstances, and tried to come up with solutions for them that might be helpful to them improvising their respective states. Depression, frustration, hardship are very common problems for the people of the younger generation; and since the book focused on them, the book became a bestseller in the annual book fair of Bangladesh in 2018 and as we came to know, the people found the book very helpful in their practical lives.

Since my childhood, I have taken my education at five different schools in twelve years of my academic timeline. Because of this, I had to get along with different people as classmates every time I changed my institution. Though getting along with new people became harder as I grew older, I took it as a challenge and tried my best to cope up with the new schoolfellows and make them friends. This challenge developed my tendency to fraternize with strangers. So I believe it will aptly help me to engage with the people of unfamiliar race and culture in Korea.

In conclusion, I would say that if I get selected, KGSP would be the most valuable achievement for me; and I would very much like to keep my pace in my studies and hold onto my passion as strongly as I can. Utilizing my purpose, dream, and motivation mentioned in this statement, I believe myself as one of the worthy applicants for this scholarship program.
Maria - / 1,098 389  
Aug 29, 2019   #2
Hello. Welcome to the forum! I apologize for the slight delay; and I hope this can assist you in your writing endeavors for future references.

First and foremost, the first paragraph is already sufficient. I appreciate how you were able to integrate such a concrete writing approach that is able to describe without doing it excessively. I would only recommend working more on the dynamism of the lengths of your sentences. It is pivotal that you are able to expound how certain lines flow. Furthermore, the second paragraph has quite a lengthy introductory line. I suggest revising this to have a more simplified writing approach.

The second to the last paragraph appears to be a little out-of-place. I recommend revising this to make it into a smaller chunk to help your writing process.
OP tawfiqb 1 / 1  
Aug 30, 2019   #3
Thank you very much for your response. I very much appreciate your feedback and will be aware of the things you have pointed out and edit the writing. It will be greatly helpful for me.

Thanks again!

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