Prompt: Engineers turn ideas (technical, scientific, mathematical) into reality. Tell us about an engineering idea you have or your interest in engineering. Explain how Cornell Engineering can help you further explore this idea or interest.
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So, I edited my essays and brought it down to 528 words , so I'm still 28 words over the limit of 500, Please Help!! And also refer to my previous post see my other concerns regarding this essay. Deadline is tommorow.
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Energy. It fuels our bodies, runs our cars, and even leads nations to war. However, in today's modern day society, the search for energy is proving detrimental to both humans and our planet. Global Warming threatens to destroy the planet and human civilization and is the greatest challenge mankind faces today.
My solution is simple, exploit the greatest source of energy available to us-the Sun. Every second the Sun hits the Earth with more energy than human civilization has used since the dawn of the electric age. My solution might now seem obvious and if you're thinking solar cells, you'd be right, but then again are you? Although solar energy has the potential to power mankind 4,000 times around forever, it currently produces less than 0.1% of our global energy demands. Most of this is consequence that You could point your finger and blame many factors, but in the end, it comes down to three things: our atmosphere reflects more than 50% of all solar radiation, solar cells can't produce energy with cloud cover, and our solar cells are simply not effective enough. Solar cells have a measly 14% efficiency, and even high-costing solar cells cannot boast more than 20-22% efficiency. So how can we use all that solar radiation?
The first step would be to put a vast array of satellites equipped with solar cells in a geosynchronous orbit. Here these cells would be far enough away from the earth that the atmosphere doesn't interfere with energy production. Now, even with the 100% of available solar radiation our solar cells are still not efficient enough. However, companies like Entech Solar have found a solution: are making revolutionary progress by developing a special array of Fresnel lenses, called solar concentrators. These solar concentrators allow 300% more solar radiation to be converted into electricity. Despite repeated testing and implementation of this technology there is still one major flaw, "how are we going to get all that energy down to earth to fulfill mankind's needs".
Unfortunately, the answer to this question is not as simple. We simply cannot attach 26,000 mile long wires and transfer the energy thus, we must use wireless methods. Significant research and progress in various forms of wireless energy transfer, reveals microwave power transmission to be the most promising. With potential efficiencies exceeding 95%, this method simply requires more work to navigate around its various obstacles.
I hope to contribute to this technology and maybe someday we can finally put an end to both fossil fuels and Global Warming. However, implementation of my idea will require the collaboration of various different engineering studies such as materials engineers to improve the solar cells and Fresnel lenses, mechanical engineers to deploy the satellites, computer and electrical engineers to control the satellites and their various autonomous functions. I am confident that Cornell University is the ideal institution for me to gain the necessary training in any of these fields. I hope to take advantage of the various research opportunities available to me at Cornell, such as CUSat Satellite Project. Projects like this will give me priceless experience in working with autonomous satellites and will help me potentially make my idea not only a dream, but also a reality.
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Concerns:
-Does the essay say something about me and my engineering passion?
-Also I know the info on my Idea is really extensive and I should talk more about myself and Cornell, but can someone help me find stuff to remove or shorten. I'm really interested by this subject so just about everything sounds important.
- I'm at 571 words and the limit is 500, so I desprately need help to remove words, PLEASE HELP!!!
-Does it flow and read well?
-Anything Else? Please be as critical as necessary. Thanks a lot :)
Hey! I hope I'm not too late. :)
I would suggest you shorten the second paragraph. Your main ide is expressed in the next one, so the second one is not so important. Maybe less facts? They may be familiar with this already, so make it more concise, so you get straight to the point and tell your idea.
Your passion comes partly through the way you describe your idea, but you can show it a little more. Maybe use some expressions which openly state that you are passionate about these things. Maybe add a sentence how you feel imagining you would be part of such a project, add some excitement. :)
And at the end. At the beginning I thought you name your future collegeous by listing those engineers and then I waited for you to mention what you will become. Are you not yet sure what you want to do? What have you indicated on your application? I suggest adding what you would like to contribute to this project more specifically. It's ok if you are not completely sure, you are always allowed to change your major. ;)
By the way, I am also applying to Cornell. And reading your essay about this project made me also feel interested. As I want to study materials science I felt that I can contribute to something like this as well. So you managed to draw my attention. :)
thanks a lot and i'm glad i interested you. no the deadline is today, so you're not late. Does anyone else have anything to critque my essay. I'm at school, but I'll edit your essays as soon as I get home. The DEADLINE IS TODAY!!! PLEASE HELP and CRITIQUE!!!
OK, i'm back home, does anyone have more suggestions for me. I have to finish this essay tongiht. Thanks. I'll post a revision in a while and will also edit any of your essays in return.
