Please help review my essay to check if I have answered the scholarship question -short eassy giving reasons for applying for the scholarship, explaining your educational goals, and clearly describing how you will use the experience gained from your Master's degree studies to help in the development of your home country.
It was during my final year of undergraduate studies, when issues relating to the environment and energy began to capture my interest after reading environmental sociology. Although I enjoyed economics, I began to appreciate the wealth of resources the environment produce for human survival.
In order to feed my curiosity, I participated in series of energy and environment related seminar and summits, the most inspiring being the Ghana oil and gas summit 2013. The detailed presentation by the former deputy minister of energy, stressing on the economic impact of the energy sector on Ghana's economy was thought provoking. I have since taken keen interest in the activities of the energy industry and followed with ardent interest, newspapers and market reports on happenings in the energy market. These experiences have really influenced me and seeded in me a strong passion towards a solution oriented career in the energy industry.
It's therefore my utmost goal to pursue a postgraduate studies that will grant me a deeper understanding of the workings of economics and finance in analyzing energy issues, equip me with the analytical tools to support strategic decision making and sharpen my personal resolve to develop the ability to incorporate multi-disciplinary methods to achieve results in holistic problems of energy accessibility, sustainability and utilization. Also, I plan to focus on energy market analysis; using empirical methods, research and models to investigate into the power and petroleum market. I'm particularly enthused in addressing strategies that will make renewable energy services universally accessible and affordable especially to deprived agricultural rural areas and readily available in an environmentally sustainable manner.
The OFID scholarship will therefore grant me the greatest possibility of my life to achieve my goal by overcoming the financial barrier of pursuing a master's degree in an overseas country; this will immensely enable me focus on my studies with a peaceful state of mind. Personally it will fortify my confidence, strengthen my determination and satisfy my aspiration to develop a global expertise- this, I consider necessary to help me grow as an individual, enhance my knowledge and most importantly make my family proud being the first out from my family to win a scholarship.
With the skills and experience gained from my master's degree studies, I will contribute greatly to Ghana's energy development by supporting the economic and finance components of the energy sector specifically as an energy economist- applying different methods of energy appraisals to government specified goals, development and advisory; with the aim to encourage investment in modern forms of renewable energy and infrastructure expansion to increase power supply. I hope to support government's initiative to embark on small and medium scale hydro power project by offering my expertise. Also, I will certainly engage in research activities to address important energy challenges of Ghanaian communities.
Eventually, I will actively engage in lecturing at a tertiary institution in Ghana after some years of work experience, towards making available both the knowledge and experience gained. I therefore promise to be a good OFID ambassador
It was during my final year of undergraduate studies, when issues relating to the environment and energy began to capture my interest after reading environmental sociology.
For me, this sentence sounds pretty dull :( Begin your essay with more energy :) Do not lengthen your sentences unnecessarily .
Although I enjoyed economics, I began to appreciate the wealth of resourcesthat the environment produces for human survival.
What does this mean? It is not clear to me the link between the two parts :( You say you enjoyed economics and then you say you appreciated wealth of resources the environment produces for human survival. You need to connect these two ideas better as they seem to be standing alone without delivering your actual idea clearly to the reader.
With the skills and experience gained from my master's degree studies, I will contribute greatly to Ghana's energy development by supporting the economic and finance components of the energy sector specifically as an energy economist- applying different methods of energy appraisals to government specified goals, development and advisory; with the aim to encourage investment in modern forms of renewable energy and infrastructure expansion to increase power supply.
This is too long :( When you lengthen the sentences , the reader's interest would also start to decline as the reader needs to memorize too many details :( Write shorter sentences and avoid repeating the same idea.
With the skills and experience gained from my
master's degreepost graduate studies, I will contribute greatly to Ghana's energy development by supporting the economic and finance components of the energy sector. (stop here and start a new sentence for the next idea)
