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Scholarship   Posts: 11

Engineering - choices and reasons for study in UK


annisa2695 2 / 9  
Oct 10, 2018   #1
Some feedback for this essay are very welcome. thannkyou :)

Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future. Please do not duplicate the information you have entered on the work experience and education section of this form (minimum word count: 100 words, maximum word count: 500 words)

THREE CHOICES STUDY IN UK



Based on Global Infrastructure Competitive Index in 2016, [MY COUNTRY] placed in the rank 60th of availability and quality of infrastructure. This makes the government aims to increase into top 40 in the next coming years. Therefore, [MY COUNTRY] is currently managing infrastructure development in various cities to improve connectivity each region and grow the economic needs. This is also eager me to be one of the important roles in order to solve and improve numerous infrastructure in [MY COUNTRY].

Hold my bachelor degree in civil engineering with cum laude predicate and my current professional career for two years in infrastructure consulting firm I have developed my skills about design and construction and experienced in analytical and practical design some infrastructure projects. I recently involve with some ongoing national strategies projects and the projects are quite challenging to do. Located in the most complex geology causes [MY COUNTRY] having extreme topography in many areas and it greatly affected to structure design of projects in feasibility study. Some structural underground roads and tunnels propose to be designed due to the problems. As a result, these projects need deep comprehend and advanced analytical skills to be solved. Since I realized that my current knowledge is not yet sufficient and there are only few experts in this concern in [MY COUNTRY] because its complexity, I intend to pursue my master degree to enhance my understanding and solve projects in underground infrastructure field. I align my preferences with my needs and finally I have chosen the course in three different universities:

The first choice is MSc of Civil Engineering (specialization in road and underground infrastructure) in University College London. Looking up at the detail courses, the program provides many conceptual studies for instance advanced theoretical of structural analysis, soil mechanics, and geological studies which are the main concerns in designing underground infrastructures. Since my concern in designing the projects, this program suitable for me to obtain many in-depth insights regarding the theories.

MSc Tunneling and Underground Space in University of Warwick is my second choice. This program supported by British Tunneling Society and International Tunneling Association so that 20 percent of teaching is delivered by guest lecturers from some industries. So I will gain deeper understanding how to implement the solution of complex civil engineering and tunneling problems through the construction.

My third option is MSc Tunnel Engineering in University of Exeter. The program offers academic staffs that active in some internationally scientific research across a wide range of topics. The experts in some research and practice industries also will be engage to teach the students and guide to do final projects directly linked with industries This become the privilege for [MY COUNTRY] to connect with those industries to do some collaboration for underground projects.

In conclusion, since UK has numbers of excellent underground development and technologies since 1827, planning study in UK will broaden my knowledge and will support my country to achieve the goals in increasing the quality of infrastructure in the future.

Duzaho 4 / 10 3  
Oct 10, 2018   #2
It a time I thought I was reading a career plan essay.
In the first paragraph you mentioned your country 3 good times and your mentioned your country 6 times in this essay, are you talking about your country or your UK universities choices.

You suppose to write about why/how this courses are relevant to both your career and your country.
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,294 1838  
Oct 11, 2018   #3
Anisa, you are over the word count by 2 words. It would be best for your essay if you can combine the goal of your country with your academic training. Do that within one paragraph so that the reviewer will be able to see the connection between your desire to help your country and the validity of your previous academic and current professional skills with the objective of your country with regards to economic improvement areas.

Your choice of universities simple outline what the courses are about and what you hope to learn. You need to indicate a direct application of the theoretical learning you will be receiving with the current work that you are doing or indicate a future professional goal for yourself that can be achieved by completing the course. Right now, all you are doing is explaining the course to the reviewer, which doesn't really tell him about the relevance of the course to your professional goals or the objectives of your country's economic improvement program. It is one thing to understand what the course is about and what it can teach you. It is another thing to explain how the course is relevant to your professional goals. The professional goals in line with your studies matter the most in this essay.
OP annisa2695 2 / 9  
Oct 11, 2018   #4
@Duzaho thank you for your comment, i will revise my essay as soon as possible.

@Holt i dont get to the point about "over word count by 2 words", can you explain it to me? by the way, thank you for insight, i will posted some revision next week :)
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,294 1838  
Oct 12, 2018   #5
Anissa, I do not see what you cannot understand with what I said. The Chevening Scholarship essays are always written with a 100 word minimum to 500 word maximum format. I said you were over by 2 words so that means you wrote 502 words. It is over the word limitation of the essay. As such you will need to revise the essay either by removing unimportant words or word fillers or, you will have to revise sentences / paragraphs in order to shorten the presentation of words while keeping the meaning of the sentence or paragraph intact. Meet the word count of 500 before you submit your paper. If you submit the essay without editing the word count, your application may not be accepted. There are always rules given in relation to writing the Chevening essays. Make sure your essay meets all of the requirements not just in terms of prompt discussion, but also in terms of word allotment.
OP annisa2695 2 / 9  
Oct 14, 2018   #6
Okay @Holt :) i will revise my count words at least 500 words. btw i appreciate a lot for your advices, it gives me much insight. thankyou :)
OP annisa2695 2 / 9  
Oct 18, 2018   #7
Dear @Holt. i have revised my essay. I have appreciate for your kindly feedback :)

choosing courses to study in UK

I hold my bachelor degree in civil engineering with cum laude predicate. During college, I have joined and won some prestigious competitions for designing projects. Those solid academic backgrounds and remarkable achievement have sharpened me specifically in scope of designing infrastructure projects for instance road and bridge.

Participating in my current professional career for two years in infrastructure consulting firm has also strengthened my skills to solve some infrastructure projects in the large scale through design and construction. I recently involve with some challenging ongoing national strategic projects. Some structures not only road and bridge, but also underground roads and tunnels have proposed to be designed. However, I realized that my current knowledge in underground field is not yet sufficient and there are only few experts in this concern in Indonesia because its complexity. This is eager me to be one of the important roles in order to solve underground infrastructures projects in my country. Hence, I intend to pursue my master degree in order to enhance my understanding in underground infrastructure. I align my preferences with my needs and I have chosen the following courses:

The first choice is MSc of Civil Engineering (specialization in road and underground infrastructure) in University College London. The program provides many conceptual studies about advanced theoretical of structural analysis. This study is very relevant with my previous academic and my current work experience so I can conduct in-depth theories about designing underground. It also has many specific modules lists. One of example is "Planning and Policies Underground in UK" module that will be beneficial for me to develop some regulations and guidance that might be able to be applied in Indonesia since my country has not evolved these aspects.

MSc Tunneling and Underground Space in University of Warwick is my second choice. This program focuses on practical skills and many modules will teach about construction the underground projects so I will gain my knowledge how to implement the construction of complex underground problems. Moreover, teaching methods delivered by guest lecturers from some industries so that it will be great benefit for me to engage with UK's industries to make collaboration projects in my country upon my return.

Lastly, my third option is MSc Tunnel Engineering in University of Exeter. The program offers more specific in excavation, health and safety method studies. The knowledge I will get from this course will be crucial to help the government for feasibility study about how impact relating to the environment and implement safety issues and provide well method during the excavation that is still underdeveloped in my country. Through that knowledge, I will be able to be better professional in considering those vital aspects in designing the projects.

In conclusion, these three majors I choose to study in UK will broaden my knowledge and it will also advantageous for my future career development to support my government which currently managing infrastructure development in various cities to improve connectivity each region in my country in the future.

(499/500)
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,294 1838  
Oct 18, 2018   #8
Anissa, the only weak course choice in this presentation is the second one. With regards to tunneling, you may want to indicate that this course will be of a great help to you as your country is currently developing its transportation and roadwork system with plans to develop an underground subway system or a tunnel that will cross through the sea to connect one province to another. You will be tasked to help develop these plans so the tunneling engineering masters course can best prepare you for that part of your job.

Aside from that part, everything else in this essay is strong and well presented. So you don't need to correct any other parts other than the one I mentioned above. Since you are only 1 word below the maximum word count, it would be best for you to revise that whole paragraph presentation so that you can come in either under or exactly at the word count for the total essay.
OP annisa2695 2 / 9  
Oct 18, 2018   #9
Thanks @Holt.
for the second option, can i develop your explanation into my essay?

then, since one word only left, i still confused which part that i should shorten one to adding my expalnation in second choice because i think other part is also necessary too fto be a part of this essay. can you give me some clues? thank you so much :)
Ghaidaa 3 / 9  
Oct 19, 2018   #10
Hey, do we have to talk about each university separately and we have chosen to study there? Can't we just talk about the study major and whay we have chosen it & the characteristics of studying in the UK? Thank you ..
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,294 1838  
Oct 19, 2018   #11
Anissa, feel free to incorporate my sample into your essay. It doesn't bother me at all. It will give you a proper starting point for the inclusion of Chevening in your post study plan. You seem to have a problem doing that properly. However, it is also the inclusion of Chevening that is making your essay too long and really bothersome for you to edit. Since it is the UK connection to existing programs of the government, both local and UK based that is the main concern of this essay, you can safely remove Chevening from the final copy because Chevening is more scholarship based rather than UK-Indonesia government project relationship based. If I were the one editing the essay, I would simply omit the Chevening mention since it does not have a negative effect on your presentation when it is removed.

Ghaidaa, you must discuss each university and course choice individually even if it is the same course for every university. Discuss the differences in program offerings and possible applicability of these differences to your future career. The Chevening instruction requires 3 course choices in 3 universities or 3 universities with one course choice. Do not take shortcuts in your presentation. The style you indicate is more for a college based scholarship application instead of an international masters degree scholarship application. Do as the instructions require otherwise your chances for consideration will be severely limited.


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