Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Scholarship   % width Posts: 3


An enthusiast of Data Science - Tell us your story


Hammed_Olayinka 1 / -  
Nov 4, 2020   #1

personal statement essay



I will so much appreciate any critique, suggestion, and advice on my response to the above question. My essay read thus:

My name is Hammed Olayinka. I was born in an underdeveloped town in Osun State, Nigeria. I am an enthusiast of Data Science, looking forward to a teaching and research career.

My passion for data science subconsciously began at a very young age. I was about eight years of age when a living standard measurement survey was conducted in my community by the National Bureau of Statistics. I curiously asked my mom what was the intention of the survey, and she explained to me that it would direct the government in making the community better. I found it fascinating that the collected data would contribute to a better community. The correlation I drew between the data collected and a community becoming better paved the way to the Statistician that I am today.

My family lived together in a single room rented apartment until my parents had a divorce. I was still in secondary school when this happened. My father left me and my siblings to my mother's care. We lacked essential daily needs and this led me and my elder brother to venture out of home for greener pastures. We engage in all sorts of labor to earn a living. Since then, I have had to be independent and self-motivated to achieve greatness.

Upon my completion of secondary school, I proceeded to the Federal Polytechnic Ede, Osun State, where I had a National Diploma in Statistics. Despite all the odds against me, I graduated with Distinction. I proceeded to the University of Ibadan where I had a Bachelor of Science in Statistics. My self-motivation and self-reliance made me to graduate with a First Class Honor and as the Second Best Graduating Student in my department. Also, I was able to impart knowledge in students by organizing timely tutorials for students having academic challenges.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4773  
Nov 6, 2020   #2
The story about your passion doesn't fit with the overall requirements for a personal statement for an undergraduate course. That is more fitting of a longer presentation either in your motivational statement or, in your statement of purpose. The personal statement asks you to present yourself as a person outside of being a student. You should try to develop the presentation about your family life and the completion of your secondary school instead. Then, talk about the qualities that will make a good student at this university. After that, discuss what aspects of the university curriculum, student community, and close with what impressed you the most about the university and course choice.
ndangalasi 1 / 2  
Nov 9, 2020   #3
In summary your essay should tell why you are interested in Data Science, for now what I read there is not enough to explain why are you interested.

Best of luck


Home / Scholarship / An enthusiast of Data Science - Tell us your story
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳