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ERASMUS MUNDUS SCHOLARSHIP ESSAY - EUROPUBHEALTH - PUBLIC HEALTH


awkwardgoat97 1 / 1  
Sep 30, 2021   #1

Essay for EuroPubHealth+ Erasmus Mundus Scholarship 2022



Hi all,
Kindly provide you feedback and correction for my scholarship essay.

I graduated from XXX University with a bachelor's degree in Dentistry in 2021 and accomplished as the first school graduate, first university graduate, and first doctor from my family. I have always desired to work with the community since an early age and that passion eventually brought me to health sciences.

When I first read community medicine, I read about working with the community at a broader level, how minute decisions can influence the systems of health at the global level. I was mesmerized by these concepts. I started to read more about it & eventually getting the idea of public health. I developed interests in chronic diseases, the population and its selective vulnerability to chronic diseases, the nature of disease spread in the community. I found that diagnosing the disease at an individual level boring & at that moment I knew I wanted to study public health.

I belong to India, where chronic disease contributes to 53% of death & 44% of DALY lost. In the future I want to work on this at the grassroots level, helping to improve & change the health hierarchy at the bottom. Public health will provide me an opportunity to learn, comprehend & most importantly giving me the knowledge to provide the improvised solution to various problems existing at the grassroots level. To improve the health system of a country a strong public health foundation is required & studying public health will open doorways for me to aid in it.

I specifically want to study advanced biostatistics & epidemiology at XXX University. The elective module in "Chronic Disease Epidemiology" is of particular interest to me. I want to gain all possible knowledge on disease incidence, patterns, distribution & not to mention the achievable possible control of diseases. I want to apply these concepts practically in the community. Learning this specific course will help me to gain knowledge on informing discussion of health issues, comprehend basic ethical and legal principles about epidemiologic data as well as enabling me to describe & infer major public health problems in terms of a various multitude of notions.

I worked under XXX state government at XXX Medical College & Hospital in 2022 to gain an understanding of the functioning health system of my country. While working at the hospital, I worked with patients and published my papers on chronic diseases (periodontitis & diabetes mellitus). During my UG year, while I was assisting at various researches that were happening in my college, I grew fond of biostatistics & epidemiology. I did a workshop on SPSS from XXX, India & now applying that knowledge for the manuscript of the original research I am currently doing with my mentor Dr. XXX.

The Erasmus Mundus Joint Master's Degree will provide me the most basic assistance to my rise to orchestration level ie. mobility, exposure, education beyond boundaries. I firmly believe my diverse background in education, my foundation in health research, my work experience, my distinct curiosity to learn about chronic diseases & epidemiology, my willingness to apply the obtained expertise in practical social architecture makes me an eligible & qualified candidate for the scholarship. This double degree will certainly provide me my desired acclaimed platform & financial support to continue my master's study. The scholarship will certainly help me to build my capacity for leadership and developmental roles. All these available tremendous opportunities made me apply for this specific scholarship.

After I graduate with this joint master's, I want to do my Ph.D. concentrated on chronic diseases & eventually returning India to help formulate a solution to the health problems of the population.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Oct 1, 2021   #2
When I first read community medicine,

This is not a good motivating factor as it is theoretical rather than experience related Theoretical concepts read in magazines are not normally accepted as motivating agents.

I found that diagnosing the disease at an individual level boring

A worrisome reference. What if you tire of public health midstream? You are beginning to set an image of yourself as a lousy EM candidate. choose your words carefully.

where chronic disease contributes

Focus on dental heaIth related public related issues.

There is a disconnect between your training and studies in relation to Public Health. Your candidacy is weakened by the percieved career change on your part. Either explain the motivation for the career change or, align it more with your actual medical background, training, and exposure.
OP awkwardgoat97 1 / 1  
Oct 1, 2021   #3
@Holt
Thank you for your feedback. Are there any areas in which I need to change or improve in my essay apart from the three mentioned sections?


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