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Erasmus Mundus IMSISS - personal statement; motivation for applying, educational background, future

Jan 23, 2019   #1


1.What is your main motivation for applying to the IMSISS postgraduate degree?
2.How will your educational background and/or work experience inform your engagement with this programme?
3.How will this programme support your future career development?

Brazil struggles to overcome violence. Our murder rate rises year after. I have witnessed violence when my house was robbed and have seen friends murdered. It a common scenery in Brazil. Understanding the conflicts between nations pursued me to study International Relations, however, I did not know that the conflicts in my own country were the ones I had to fight with. At University, as an International Relations student I learned the importance of being a good strategist to achieve a nationĀ“s goals. I co-founded NEEMARI (Energy, Environment and International Relations Study Centre) and was a member of Students Union.

After my studies, I concentrated my efforts on building a career at the Ministry of Regional Development where I have been working as an analyst for eight years. At the Ministry I realized the way to overcome violence is investing on development. I worked with regional development projects and represented the Ministry at the United Nations Conference on Sustainable Development - Rio20 presenting the project on universalization of water access in dry regions of Brazil. I also worked at the Citizen Attendance Service where I enhanced my project management skills, by working on the modernization of the Citizen Information System. Through the years of 2013 - 2015 I was the President of the Sectorial Ethics Commission, where I demonstrated communication, leadership and organisation skills to coordinate the Ethics procedures in the Ministry. Now I work with public procurement and contracts. My responsibilities are managing human resources and public budget. I also study a postgraduation course in Planning and Strategic Management.

My main motivation for applying for the IMSISS is the opportunity to work as an analyst of intelligence, developing security policies, specializing on violence, terrorism and human security. I aspire to work at organisations such as the UN Security Council or the Brazilian Agency of Intelligence. The Scholarship will also allow me to research terrorism, focusing on humanitarian aid in conflict zones. Upon concluding the programme I want to pursue a PhD in Security, Terrorism and Violence.

I feel motivated by the mobility opportunity to build a stronger network. I went to England to study English when I was 13 years old and I was fascinated by European culture. I am certain that studying in Scotland, Ireland and the Czech Republic will broaden my mind. The Degree Awarding Universities are among the best in the World and I want to be a part of their selective group of students. I am interested in learning languages, such as German and I speak Portuguese, English and currently studying Spanish and French.

From the age of 12 until 19 I was a member of the LEO Club Organization, an International Non-Profitable Organization for young leaders to develop leadership skills and to have experience in teamwork and collaboration in the community. As an LEO I grew up as a human and learned the importance to seek the well-being of all, especially the minorities. In 2013 I joined Mission Youth where I embraced the experience of being with those who live in extreme conditions and poverty. Our mission is to visit families living in violent and dangerous areas and give them psychological support. I am certain that this scholarship will give me the support I need to explore my potential and to work in a field where I can use my capacity and knowledge to change peopleĀ“s lives.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,143 3273  
Jan 24, 2019   #2
Cecilia, this is a good draft. There are areas that need to be removed to make it strong and some portions need to be better discussed to help you create the strongest possible responses to the discussion questions. In my opinion, you do not need to include paragraph 4 in this presentation. The language skills are not a priority consideration for the reviewer. I would also rearrange the paragraphs in the following manner: 3,1, 5, 2,.

From there, I would revise the content to add information about how the program will support your future career development through a paragraph long "possibilities" take on the question as opposed to the favorite default response to this question which is "I will go on to study a PhD". That is not a career plan. That is an academic plan that is irrelevant to the provided discussion questions. The educational and professional background is strong. You show that you should not have a problem strategizing a future career plan and yet you somehow struggled to respond to that question.

Aside from doing research, what actual applications do you think you can use this education on? What changes do you hope to bring to Brazil? If you work for a security agency, what capacity would that be in and how do you hope to contribute to the improvement of the security strategy of the country? Will your focus be on internal terrorist threats or national crime? There are so many directions your future career path could have projected, but you failed to consider your options for presentation in this essay.

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