Hi ! Kindly review my personal statement to apply for Erasmus Mundus Scholarship under Global Market, Local Creativity (GLOCAL) Master Program.
Here's an overview of the program : gla.ac.uk/postgraduate/erasmusmundus/glocal/#/whythisprogramme,importantprogrammeinformation
The word limit is still exceeded (150 words to cut) as I feel that the mid-to-end paragraphs are still too-too long :( that's why I need your help to review my statement.. really appreciate your help, thank you!
I'll uphold the high standards of GLOCAL Master Program
I am introducing myself as a distinguished candidate from Indonesia, the rapidly developing country with its beautiful culture. Combining my dream, background, and my spirit of entrepreneurship, herewith I am writing to show my interest in Global Markets, Local Creativities International Master Program.
I was born from a thoughtful business woman, shaping me into someone who values local business empowerment. Following my mother's work rhythm through ups and downs, since I was a child I followed her from meeting craftsmen and suppliers throughout Indonesia to going to many exhibitions abroad. I watched her business grew and gave direct impact for local resources. I was only 13 when I witnessed her struggle through the era of globalization as her local products and resources fought with the tremendous invasion power of imported products. I never forget how painful it was for my mother to shut down her business. Not only financially struggling, I felt her heartbreak as she could no longer empower people who worked for her that time. Through all the journey, I believe that GLOCAL program is the right path for me as it's always my dream to prove that the creativities of our local resources in Indonesia can compete with global market and economy with the right empowerment and development.
I am a bachelor of psychology with a big passion of human empowerment through business. this background had led me to believe that I believe that every business should care about human behaviors and cultures as people's positive interaction with the business would make it sustainable. Additionally, my life journey has led me to be someone who strongly believes in how business is powerful to answer problems, to give hope and positive impact to people's life.
To balance my educational life, I joined AIESEC organization in college. I worked to match and send students for internships to several NGOs abroad. As a youngster, I communicated with professionals from various countries, which challenged me to improve my communication skill, confidence, and to give them best experience as my clients. I joined another organization which sends me to USA and Brazil as Indonesia's cultural representative. It was another great opportunity for appreciating other cultures as well as a moment of networking as I met delegations from various countries and also people from Indonesian Consulate and Embassy.
Right now, I own a small women's wear business which I started in my college year with my sister. Starting from scratch, here is where I learn about managing resources, setting goals, and making standard to have a profitable, impactful, and sustainable business. I believe that all good things start with spreading good seeds. After settling up in the first two years, I took initiative collaborating with a charity organization. We made profit for the organization by selling exclusive traditional collection and more importantly we help people who need us the most. Furthermore, I took brave steps to produce clothes from traditional textiles made by craftsmen in small city in West Java. I went through lush countryside to find craftsmen and learned about managing new resources from different culture. I also lead the marketing strategy as I wanted customers to feel contributing to Indonesian heritage and history without losing their modern lifestyle. Right now we have empowered 3 craftsmen who produce traditional textile for my brand regularly. In 2011,we were awarded as CLEO's most innovative local brand and now we are a team of 10 who is happy and passionate about the impact and achievements that we make.
These past 2 years, I also work for a fast-growing noble social enterprise. We give mid-to-low income communities the access to household goods through a rotational group saving platform that we created. To increase their income and dignity, we unite the power of millions of low income families to provide them with better access to goods and services. We do this by recruiting local entrepreneurs to facilitate ordering, payment, and delivery for their neighbors using our technology. Here is the perfect place that gives me opportunities to apply my passion and knowledge for communities in Indonesia. I work as a recruiter where I translate my hard work as making impact through motivating people to reach noble goals together. I have also learned about emphasizing local resources to battle with global markets as we work with local resources to create quality products. Working here has strengthen my passion and shaped me stronger to be a hardworking, dynamic, value-driven, and responsible business person.
Though I already had valuable experiences for the past years, I do see a need of higher education in entrepreneurial & management to help me achieve my goals. The module that GLOCAL offers is the best program suiting my passion and concern. The specialized pathway in Global Markets & Development will help me gaining deeper understanding in particular areas and to reach my career plan in the near future.
Studying in three different cities must be very eye-opening as Glasgow, Barcelona, and Gottingen are located at the heart of global market countries. GLOCAL offers the opportunities to learn the fundamentals on making innovations and together with traditional ones. The programs will help me to understand historical and cultural perspectives on global economy, global marketing, and mass consumption. Moreover, module regarding Family Business will be useful as my sister and I built our own enterprise. With its strong reputation, I will be able to learn real cases from professionals in GLOCAL program. I believe that my learning experience will be emphasized through practical program that GLOCAL offers such as the summer school and internships.
By completing Master's degree, my goal is to give my knowledge for local people empowerment through business and globalization, especially for mid-to-low income people who is still very embed to the culture and history of the country. It will be my topic of dissertation, specifically focus on creative and cultural industries through technology. As nowadays digital culture has emerging our lives, along with my big goal, I want to make movement through creative opportunities using technology. I believe that technology will accelerate local markets to global market.
After I graduated, I am planning to raise the idea of creating a system to unite potential customers with local craftsmen who will be empowered through lifestyle brand and technology, specifically through crowdsourcing design and textile made by Indonesian traditional craftsmen and retailers. I believe that traditional retailers are the source of great design and quality products but they tend to be undeveloped with the access limitations. Through technology, consumers will discover their creative demands. In the same time, traditional retailers will gain exposure, learn to run their business, and keep up with global demands that interests with the customers most.
My plan goes along with the growth of Small Medium Enterprise growth Indonesia, connected with government's focus to develop the GDP of the country. According to World Bank in 2015, almost 70% Indonesians are middle-to-low income society with who needs to be empowered. Unfortunately, most startup developments in Indonesia are focused for middle-high society who has the privilege of easy access in many things in life. Yes, I want to be someone who solves that problem.
The two years of my post-graduation journey had prepared me to this point where I am ready to accelerate my knowledge, leverage my skills, and broaden my network. Attending GLOCAL program would bring me a step closer in realizing my dream. As my knowledge will be enriched by completing the GLOCAL Master's Degree, I will be more capable in making scalable impact through bringing local creative entrepreneurship to the global market.
I would be honored to be granted admission and scholarship opportunity to give a valuable contribution to your program. I am certain that I could prove to be a worthy student by enriching classroom discussions as well as actively taking part in school activities. I am confident that I would be able to uphold the high standards of GLOCAL Master Program.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,801 
4780 Eda , The personal statement can be shortened if you focus more on the important information rather than writing an autobiography. You see, the personal statement should only signify a number of pertinent information that relates to your preparations for the masters program and also, the motivation behind it. Therefore, a large portion of the information you provided will not be useful in this essay, but will be useful in the statement of purpose. It would be best if you revise the content of your essay as follows.
1. Relate the exposure that enticed you into this field at the age of 13. Make sure to clarify that the influence of your mother and her struggles are what drove you to learn more about this field and pushed you major in this field as a college student.
2. Describe your first experience as a professional in the field. What was your most memorable experience that you would consider to be a motivating factor for you to pursue higher studies? As a business owner, what problems have you encountered in terms of globalization that you hope to overcome with this masters study? This should also help to illustrate your preparedness to take this course through previous internships and other related professional exposure.
3. Illustrate which parts of the Erasmus Mundus program appeals to you in relation to your masters choice. Discuss specific GLOCAL opportunities that you plan to take advantage of and why or how it relates to your motivation. How will these activities heighten your participation in your field? Consider networking and other business channel opportunities in your response.
4. Use the paragraph referencing how the 3 countries you will study in will help you become a better business person. Remember, always relate the reasoning back to your primary motivation. Create a secondary motivation for presentation if necessary.
5. Close the essay with your career goals. the graduation plans should be presented in the statement of purpose instead.
