My experiences as a student and professional. Letter of Self-Introduction KGSP

Hi everyone.. I' going to apply to scholarship KGSP, but my english isn't good, i had made a Letter of Self-Introduction want you are to read it and i would like if you can give me some suggestions or critics.

Thanks

colombian life - korean future

Dear Sir / Madam:

My name is Julian Eduardo Moreno M. I was born in Bogota, Colombia, I completed my secondary education in a country school outside Bogota, where during my study time I managed to win several awards and good grades; I consider myself as a creative person and I think that through self-effort self-development is achieved, since we live in a world in which we have to constantly reinvent ourselves. Since I was a child I was very observant and curious of my surroundings, I was interested in being ordered and make pleasant the place that inhabited; Year after year was growing in me an empathy to understand and to be able to design the space and the structures with which they construct the buildings, wanted to know how they worked; This set of experiences and this way of seeing the world, led me to choose architecture as my profession; In 2011 I started to study at the National University of Colombia, recognized for being the best university in my country, where besides forming as an architect I could have enriching experiences for my life. I worked on several opportunities with the university, especially drawing architectural plans and designing more suitable spaces for students, and also I was part of a research group on wood and bamboo construction, where I worked on the classification of samples of Colombian woods suitable for Construction, and in the analysis of structures made of wood or bamboo.

Approximately since 2012, in various courses of urban planning and construction that I saw during my career, I had the opportunity to study various construction projects that have been carried out in Korea and have been an example for other countries, such as the urban renewal of 청계천, houses Hanok, Inchon International Airport, to name a few, and it was since then that my desire to understand Korean culture more thoroughly had a very important place in my training as an architect. Sometime later I took a course in Korean and Korean basic culture in my university, and in 2014 thanks to the excellent work done by the Korean Embassy in Colombia I got acquainted with the KGSP scholarship, becoming a goal for me since then; Also during this year I was the winner of a contest for the design of a social housing for the community of Tumaco, a municipality in Colombia that had been affected by poverty and war in the past but has been improving thanks to the peace agreements in my country. At the end of 2015 I decided to travel to Korea for 2 months on my own, in order to see those wonderful works that I had studied so much, as well as to be able to live this culture closely that made me grow a lot as a person and as a professional. In 2016, I graduated with a global grade of 84%. My final thesis focused on the design and analysis of a skyscraper in the city of Bogotá, where I obtained a 100-point mark and deepened in subjects such as Sustainable design, and the densification of cities with high-rise buildings, inspired by everything he had seen about contemporary Korean architecture and its incredible buildings.

My experiences as a student and professional have encouraged me to learn more about construction, particularly on infrastructure and cutting-edge engineering as well as its practical application today, not only in Colombia, but also in other countries. Therefore it is my desire to continue my studies of this interesting subject that I know I will be able to meet if KGSP gives me the opportunity. I specifically choose Korea because it is a country that has some of the most advanced engineering and infrastructure works in the world, it is a country that has opted for sustainable design using very efficient construction techniques and has been a reference worldwide; In addition to its innovative, advanced and progressive economy that is reflected in its rapid urban growth, and the extensive construction activity that exists throughout the country; In part thanks to the support of the large Korean companies, which invest in the development of projects inside and outside Korea. I know that if you give me the opportunity, what I will learn will help me to improve my skills and abilities, which I could use in the future, be it between Colombia and Korea or in other countries, and thus be able to participate in the design and construction of Projects of great magnitude. Another reason I would like to do my postgraduate program in Korea is that after traveling twice and living in Seoul for 6 months, I have become increasingly interested in everything I read about life in Korea, society, Its traditional food, its history, but above all its incredible architecture that every day surprises me and makes me feel very comfortable here.

Hi Jem1010,

It`s a good self-Introduction, well described, but pay attention to the grammar and tenses.

....Self-Introduction, I want you are to read it and i would like, if you cancouldgive me some suggestions or critics...

@ mariana13

Thanks for your opinion.
(....Self-Introduction, I want you to read it and i would like, if you could give me some suggestions or critics...)
I'm so sorry, yes after I had sended it i saw this mistake

Do you have any other commentary for my letter about content?

Julian, the KGSP scholarship gives extra consideration to the applicants who can manage to show academic excellence and leadership abilities in his home country. Therefore, you need to beef up your application in the academic excellence department, at the very least. You seem to have a host of accolades from your university when you were a student and you also won some competitions during that time. It would be in your best interest to be highly specific in this instance. Name the contest, the year you participated, the position you won, and what the outcome of such a winning was for you. That way the reviewer will know that you are not just an average applicant who does not have a clear career path. I also applaud you for having a more unique way of discussing your interest in Korean culture. By indicating a connection with your college major and your profession, you are sure to somehow stand out from the pack of applicants. Excellent work in that respect.

Holt

Thanks for your opinion, is a good point, I'll do that thanks again.

About emphasizing my academic achievements, you mean the first part where I mention that I had several prizes in my school time? As for the University I think I mention what I win I think I should then add what I changed in my after that experience, thanks for the other obcervations and would you like to know if you have any more? thank you very much

Hello Julian. Yes, I specifically mean the awards that you won in school, specifically in college because you are applying for a masters degree and as such, must show proficiency and an academic ability to not only handle the demands of the course, but also inform the scholarship committee that you have the ability to excel as a student in this field. Most specially since the demands of a KGSP scholarship is unique and very difficult to accomplish. Try to introduce your non academic interests as well in this essay. The essay looks too much to your academic and professional side so there is a lack of balance when it comes to who you are as a person. The reviewer is also interested in that. Tell him who you are when you are not busy with school or work. What do you for fun? Do you have any social advocacy that you feel can help to establish a side of your personality that could be considered an asset to the program? If you do, then please, go ahead and introduce it to the reviewer. Just make sure it will all fit on the page requirement.

I have read several articles on essay writing. It is the best to not start your essay by introducing yourself. You can begin with talk about something memorable from your life.